1. On humiliation:
ugh i was driving with the windows down and forgot i was blaring celine dion and i'm so embarrassed ...THAT I DIDN'T TURN IT UP LOUDER
2. On self-confidence:
I'm a real catch if your definition of "catch" is "girl who eats candy in bed and sings Celine Dion all day."
3. On listening habits:
Stop following me on Spotify! It's the only place I can truly be myself CELINE DION ON REPEAT
4. On historical facts:
Celine Dion was the only Canadian to sing at the Titanic’s inaugural voyage
5. On standards:
Don't make someone a priority in your life if they can't even take the time to like your Facebook cover photo of Celine Dion
6. On risqué lyrics:
BEST SONGS THAT USE THE WORD "GIGOLO": 3 Buffalo Stance - Neneh Cherry 2 Just a Gigolo - David Lee Roth 1 My Heart Will Go On - Céline Dion
7. On mistaken identity:
I thought I met Celine Dion once but it was just an owl tied to a broom.
8. On partying:
Any bus can be a party bus when you play Celine Dion loud enough on your phone.
9. On hidden meaning:
Did you know that Celine Dion's "It's All Coming Back To Me Now" is about a boomerang? This is 100% true.
10. On keeping busy:
whoa, what a busy day of commenting "same" all over Celine Dion's instagram
sincerely wish celine dion would stop commenting "same" on all my pictures
11. On memory:
"It's all coming back to me now!" - me, remembering the words to the chorus of It's All Coming Back to Me Now by Celine Dion
12. On public behaviour:
All I'm saying, Loblaws, is that if you don't want me serenading the organic aisle then don't play Celine Dion's 'That's The Way It Is'.
13. On matrimony:
In order for a marriage to be legally recognized in Canada, at least 12 Celine Dion songs must be played during the reception
14. On health:
"Where does my heart beat now?" -- Celine Dion experiencing cardiac arrest
15. On idols:
Celine Dion is my Pussy Riot.
16. On celebrity comparisons:
Just heard about some crooner named Michael Buble, who is apparently like Celine Dion in pants.
17. On depression:
Whenever Canada gets sad, it puts on some Celine Dion and crysings along to My Heart Will Go On.
18. On relationship problems:
My wife hates Celine Dion. Unrelatedly, do you know a good divorce lawyer?