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How Much Do You Hate Fun?

Girls just want to...head home.

Posted on
  1. Check anything that applies to you:

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    You fixate on plot holes during movies.
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    You require constant breaks from the smallest interactions.
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    You’ve developed a series of polite sounds that kill smalltalk in its tracks.
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    People have asked you if anything is wrong when you’re just hanging out.
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    You don't like loud laughers.
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    Is anything even that funny?
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    You don’t understand why people have a constant stream of sound coming out of their face slot.
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    Bathrooms are your happy place.
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    You’re elated when plans are canceled.
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    And are sure to emphasize to friends that it’s really OK if they can’t make it.
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    Because you’d rather be hibernating anyway.
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    Your favorite thing to do is stay at home.
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    Festivals are the worst.
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    You dread long encores at concerts.
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    And the inevitable back pain that ensues after standing for hours.
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    You’ve never tried drugs (other than alcohol or pot) out of fear you’ll die.
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    You sometimes like traffic because you have a lesser likelihood of dying.
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    You can’t go on a rollercoaster without thinking “This is it.”
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    Actually you’re surprised you’ve made it this far in life without dying.
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    The word “celebrate” can strike fear into your heart.
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    What are you doing for the Super Bowl? Sleeping, probably.
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    You cringe when you see coaches get Gatorade dumped on them, especially when it's cold outside.
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    You don’t like balloons because of their potential to give you a small fright.
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    You avoid themed parties.
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    Halloween is a difficult time for you.
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    You can’t physically bring yourself to throw recyclable things away at a party.
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    And sometimes stash them in your bag to recycle later.
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    You can’t throw any plastic ware out without picturing it rotting in a landfill for decades to come.
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    Confetti is just a thousand little things to clean up later.
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    You hate parades.
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    You hate New Year's.
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    You hate having to talk about New Year's plans.
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    You don’t like talking about celebrities.
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    You’ve never squealed when you see someone you haven’t seen in years.
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    You don’t understand what all this need for hugging people you don't know well is.
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    And feel obligated to hug everyone because it’s cultural.
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    You’ll consider going to a party if the host has a dog.
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    You’ll consider going to a party if your extroverted friend who loves to talk is going.
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    You’re not the life of the party because you don’t want the honor.
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    The thought of clubbing is exhausting.
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    Or anything that starts after 9 p.m.
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    You don’t like beaches.
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    Or getting into the water with mystery plants that wrap around you and make you feel like sushi.
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    You don’t like shopping.
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    Or karaoke.
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    You don't like musicals.
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    Or people who break out into song.
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    Irish goodbyes are your jam.
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    And you wish you could Irish goodbye phone calls, too.
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    When you arrive at a party, you bolt for alcohol, aka social lubricant.
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    But there's nothing better than when you've had the perfect amount and time flies.
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    Because yes, admit it: You're having fun.
 
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