22 Hilarious Stories That Prove Dogs Are Too Adorably Stupid For Their Own Good
These mischievous pups are guaranteed to make you laugh.
1. Submitted by Annie Elliott (Facebook)
One morning my crazy basset hound got out of the house, ran across the street, and peed on a little girl's backpack while she was waiting for the bus.
2. Submitted by Alissa Gould (Facebook)
My dad tied my dog to the garbage can one day because she was getting into too much trouble. Well, she wanted to be near him, so she started walking away. The can was empty — not full like my dad thought — and it tipped over and scared the SHIT out of my dog.
In her frightened state, she proceeded to run down the driveway and into the street while dragging this empty trash can behind her. My dad went chasing after her, but she couldn't hear him calling over the sounds of the trash can banging around. He eventually caught her, but not before she dragged that thing into our neighbors' cars...
4. Submitted by alexh4c52979a0
My dog ate some wild turkey poop and then jumped in my lap and licked my face. As I was telling him to get down, he stuck his tongue in my mouth. My other dog carried a turd in through the dog door.
5. Submitted by Eric Schnetzer (Facebook)
When I got home, my dog had eaten a full tube of lipstick. She was feeling generous and shared the lipstick with the carpet, the door, and her feet. I had a drag queen Great Dane for a good week or so. And I still have pink carpet.
6. Submitted by Amanda Kohut (Facebook)
My beagle, Denny Crane, once smelled an animal on my block and was so determined to chase after it that he broke through and jumped out of a window on the third floor of my parent's house the night before I had a physics final. While I was crying hysterically, as I believed he was dead, my father had to chase him down. When I took him to the ER, the vet said all he had was a chipped tooth!
7. Submitted by Amelia Ridley (Facebook)
I let my Labrador come outside with me when I was taking the bins out one morning. I let him go for a wander, thinking he was just going to pee on the telegraph pole at the end of our driveway, like he always does.
Instead, he saw his opportunity and seized it. He kept walking... past the telegraph pole, past the border of our property, up the neighbours' driveway, through their dog flap in the side door... right up to the table where my neighbour was eating his breakfast.
And ate the bacon off his plate.
Went into a strange person's house... and ate their bacon.
8. Submitted by Sarah Mota (Facebook)
My dog got into our bathroom trash can and dragged my dirty tampons throughout the house...while we had company over.
9. Submitted by emilywlv
Once our Yorkie and Pomeranian nosed open the pantry, knocked over a Costco-size jug of vegetable oil, lapped that up, then tore open a five-pound bag of raw Basmati rice and ate all of that. My aunt cleaned up the mess but then put them in their shared kennel for bed. After shitting and then rolling around in it all night, all we could see were their eyes.
10. Submitted by Teal Chastain Blacksten (Facebook)
There was that time when our yellow Lab dug up the buried hamster in the backyard, then promptly came inside and puked it all up.
11. Submitted by Sarah Scott (Facebook)
I was browsing the running section in Nike with my dog, Georgia, who took a liking to the astroturf grass that was part of the central display, and she decided that would be an appropriate time to take a poop in the middle of the store.
12. Submitted by LaneyKate2005
He ate an entire rack of cooked pork ribs and got to visit the vet. They gave him three different medicines to make him puke, but he kept his prize down. The staff resorted to playing helicopter with him, which he thought was a wonderful game. It took the entire veterinary staff spinning him for about 20 minutes for him to give it up. I heard later than one of the staff puked before he did.
13. Submitted by erikawitte
Left my Macbook closed, with its protective case on, sitting at the foot of my bed while I got ready for class. Walked back into my bedroom to find my Boston terrier had saturated my duvet with urine and ruined the laptop. So much evil in such a tiny squishy body.
14. Submitted by sarahlizzie
My old pit bull once ate half a box of my roommate's paintballs (around 500) and for the next week he had fluorescent orange poops.
15. Submitted by Adriana Diamond (Facebook)
My black Lab used to get into all sorts of trouble. She unwrapped all of the Christmas presents on Christmas Eve (even though there was no food under the tree). We woke up to find bits of soggy wrapping paper all over the house.
16. Submitted by Bostonfan13
My dog ate Super Glue. Yes, Super Glue. I threw him in the shower and opened his mouth to try to rinse it out. When I called the emergency vet, all she could do was laugh the entire time. Thankfully he was fine.
17. Submitted by Erin Michelle (Facebook)
This dog has since passed away, but I live in the country and Dixie used to get out and go eat roadkill. One day she apparently scarfed a large portion of well-decomposed deer. That evening, she puked half-digested yuck (including hair and partially identifiable body parts) on my bed. It was juicy and soaked through to the mattress. Horrendous!
18. Submitted by Deanna Dupire Yauch (Facebook)
I was making hamburger patties and took my wedding band and engagement ring off. My dog, Dingo, tipped the patties onto where my rings were sitting and scarfed it all down, leaving just my wedding band behind. After a week of searching, I never found the engagement ring.
19. Submitted by Jessica Golling (Facebook)
...There was that one time she pooped on the leather, heated car seats and then stepped on it, mashing the turd into the perforations. I couldn't use the heated seat for six months for every time I turned it on, it would heat up the dookie and stink up the car.
20. Submitted by Flopadoc
Set the apartment on fire by trying to get a pizza box off of the stove and accidentally turning it on.
22. Submitted by Robert Wilder (Facebook)
While I was having sex with a woman, my dog started having sex with her leg.