21 Things Every Indian Does During An India-Pakistan Cricket Match
Are you saying something, Pakistan? Can't hear you over the sound of all the World Cup wins over you so far.
1. First things first: You have a tacit understanding with your friends that things are going to get a bit insane.
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2. Even if you're the least patriotic person in the world, you surround yourself with flags and jerseys.
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*Frantically hunts for saffron face-paint in Bandra*
3. You apologize to your Pakistani friends (if you have any) in advance for the number of gaalis you're about to send their way.
4. You post sassy memes on social networks to warm up for the D-day.
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5. And even if you're normally conscientious and polite, your inner racist comes out to join in the fun.
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(Seriously, if you haven't apologized to your Pakistani friends already, don't worry – they've already unfriended you, you rude mofo.)
6. You take out your jersey, let the tears of pride well in your eyes and wear it seena taan ke.
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7. You get goosebumps when India's national anthem is played and sing it with utmost conviction.
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India-Pakistan match anthem > Independence Day anthem > Republic Day anthem > pre-movie anthem.
8. You put your entire life on hold to be able to watch the match live. Literally this has been on your schedule for months.
Karima Khan
9. You have your jugaad ready for every worst-case scenario.
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10. And you'll do everything to make sure you don't miss the most important event of the year.
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11. Even if it means you stand on a road for the entire seven hours.
12. Your intense emotions suppress all your bodily needs. Minimal bathroom breaks.
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13. This phrase has helped you bond with strangers more than any social networking website.
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14. It doesn't matter where you are, you make sure you fulfill your cheering duties however possible.
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15. If you're smart, you have an email ready to send your boss/teacher saying you'll be late the next day.
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Or not in attendance at all. Because an India-Pakistan hangover > every other hangover, ever.
16. Unlike during any other game, your trash-talk alludes a lot of history. Like, a lot.
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"OF COURSE WE'RE HITTING FOURS AND SIXES, WE'RE USED TO MAKING THEM RUN TO THE BORDER." #Ohhhhhhh
17. And all that yelling will leave you voiceless and/or hoarse for the next week, minimum.
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18. But it's worth it for that perfect moment when Dhoni hits a six and the ball becomes one with the sky.
19. And fireworks go off in your heart when Shahid Afridi gets out.
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20. Because India v/s Pakistan isn't just any match.
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21. Because it's the only time ever that this rivalry makes sense, and the cricket pitch is the only place our countries should be at war.
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