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Here I Was, All Ready to Snark

I wanted to hate these, I really did. Because I have a love affair with Nightmare Before Christmas I automatically hate anything that I feel may threaten its amazingness.

Karen Sugarpants 13 years ago

How Much Do You LOVE Zombies?

Enough to buy a hand painted zombie dildo? At $245 a pop?

BugginWord 13 years ago

Sweet Lady Gaga - Java Leg Fancies

I had to sign up for this website in order to see this submission. As I was signing up, I thought, “Oh! Maybe I’ll get a free pattern that will inspire me to pick up the knitting needles again.” That? Did not happen.

Karen Sugarpants 13 years ago

Gearing Up For Summer Binge Drinking

I’ve been invited to a “Just because we have kids doesn’t mean we can’t still party!” party and I know how mommies and daddies get kinda out of hand when the kids are elsewhere.

Karen Sugarpants 13 years ago

It’s Like a Snuggie, For Your Marriage

What woman hasn’t been totally turned off by her husband’s flatulence in the bedroom? I know a Dutch Oven has never made me randy. Well, congratulations America, you’ve thought of everything. This time it’s in the form of a blanket that sucks up your farts like a Dyson meth. Now you can continue to enjoy those greasy, gas-producing foods, ruining your body and heart, and let ‘er rip in the bedroom even right before your wife climbs aboard your gravy train. Now there’s a thought.

Karen Sugarpants 13 years ago

Ribbed For Her Pleasure

I’m sorry, I get that little girls want barrettes and fancy stuff in their hair, but I have boys. And all I could think of when I saw this is you’re setting up the little girls of the world to go from this gaudy looking barrette hair clippy thing to some mismatched leopard print and pink rain cap that Seinfeld’s mother would wear in Sarasota Springs Retirement Home. A lifetime of gaudy, if you will. This one definitely goes in the category “I Want to Punch a Crafter.” Because people, I do. I really do. It’s like someone is trying to scrapbook a child and that is WRONG. Just say no to ribbed mermaids. Especially in your daughter’s hair.

Karen Sugarpants 13 years ago

Travel Bag for Wine: Perfect for the Drunk Homeless Subway Rat

Baggy Winecoat gives the popular Bag in Box wines a casual but stylish look! Simply take the wine bag out of the box, place it in the Baggy Wine Coat and close the flexible top. A rubber bottom makes sure the Baggy Winecoat do not tip over; neither on the dinner table, nor on the picnic. If you want to carry your wine with you, just grab the handle and go!”

Karen Sugarpants 13 years ago

Anthropomorphic Animals Abound: Our Favorite Animated Films. WHAT'S YOURS???

I mean the stuff like in "My Neighbor Totoro" where the giant eight-legged cat, that is actually a bus, levitates all over the place super-fast and has glowing rats for tail-lights and the kids in the film have to climb into its skin to go see their mom in the hospital.

Karen Sugarpants 14 years ago

Hilarious Recap of Last Night's Dancing With the "Stars"

Readers? Dear readers. You asked for it, you pleaded for it, and now you've got it. Your tiny little internet pal Miss Banshee is recapping Dancing with the Freaking Stars. This is my first time watching it, so I had NO IDEA WHAT THE HOLY FU...I mean, how interesting this show is. Hold me? A disclaimer. I know next to nothing about dancing. I was a goth club kid, I danced in platform boots in a cage.

Karen Sugarpants 14 years ago

For All The Hairy Vagined Good Ol' Feminists

I will never understand what having a hairy cooch has to do with being a feminist. I mean, isn’t being a woman in 2010 all about CHOICES? Personally I’d rather my pink taco didn’t resemble this:

Karen Sugarpants 14 years ago

Plastic Cutlery Dragon

This dragon sculpture is made entirely out of plastic utensils and cups.

Ash 14 years ago

Twilight & New Moon: Shrunken Heads - Glitter Sold Separately

The crafty Twihards seem to be all aflutter from the recent release of New Moon on DVD. Most of the recent listings seem to involve decapitating the characters. Is it just me, or is this the perfect example of shrinky-dinks gone bad?

Karen Sugarpants 14 years ago

The Opposite Sex

Yeah. I like the way things are too. Now I’m going to go make a salad cuz I’m a fat cow.

Karen Sugarpants 14 years ago