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Posted on Feb 22, 2015

How To Pick-Up A Geek Girl

Talking nerdy to us isn't the only way. Here is some guidance.

by Kmarrs

Community Contributor

You will have better luck finding us at the library or in a bookstore, at a convention, or really anywhere, but we are probably keeping to ourselves or in our small circle.

We will know you're serious if you offer to buy us a book. Granted, this only works if you find us at the bookstore. If you found us elsewhere, a bookstore with a coffee shop can make a great date. Chances are we don't care about the local club scene. We care about the local tea and book scene. Now you can buy us that drink, have a long conversation with us, and take note of the books we're drooling over. This doesn't mean we aren't into dinner and movies, but the local bookstore or coffee shop is an impressive first date.

Don't pretend to be an expert if you're not. It's ok. Not everyone can be obsessed with Doctor Who, the Avengers, Firefly, AND Dungeons and Dragons. Being willing to learn about our interests and listen to us go on about them, goes a lot further than pretending to be an expert.

Respect that you have a sensitive and knowledgeable girl in front of you and, should you have caught our interests, feel privileged. Feel privileged to have caught any girl's interest. We all want love, geeks and non-geeks alike, but if we can't directly relate to you, and you caught our interest anyway, then there is something special about you.

Don't assume we are weak or need rescued. I'm sorry but if we can carry the entire Harry Potter series around, we are anything but weak. Additionally, as avid readers we have no shortage for words and are quite able to stand up for ourselves. This doesn't mean we won't cry about it later once we're alone. So quietly offering comfort is a great way of showing respect.

We are all unique individuals. Really, this applies to any girl. Take the time to not just get to know us, but what makes us tick. We are less likely to play games, and more likely to just tell you what we're thinking, what we like, and what we think about you. All geeks are fiercely passionate about something. That's sort of why we're geeks. So recalling months down the line that the 10th doctor is our favorite, is actually really pretty cool.

No really. Buy us books. I swear to you that if you randomly show up to our house or on the date with the book we mentioned we want to read, not only do we know you're listening, but we know you care! Flowers die, but books are forever! Also: A new bookcase could make a great anniversary present or even birthday or other holiday. Especially if it's antique, or at least something more than the typical, from the box, bookcases. There are also all sorts of neat little shelving systems out there. Something just the perfect size to hold the complete Tolkien collection, as well as the books in it we're missing, says "I love you and I love that you read".

Read for fun. Even if you're slow at it. Taking the time to work through a book, tells us you enjoy thinking. It doesn't have to be one we've read or would read. You don't have to directly match all our interests. Be your own unique individual. Just read. Then tell us about the book and why you enjoyed it. No spoilers, though. And if you do happen to pick up one we've read, oh that conversation will be beautiful. And will make for a great coffee house date.

Do curl up and watch the with us from time to time. Just keep the questions for the commercials, and after it ends. Then introduce us to your shows. Even if it's sports related. This isn't ever all about us.

Don't be forceful and don't be creepy. We aren't use to guys coming on strong and generally when they do it's because they want us for all the wrong reasons. This isn't about scoring or about you being desperate. This is about getting to know an amazing person who is sensitive, thoughtful, passionate, and caring. Take your time and be a gentleman.