Recently, I binge-watched The Hobbit and The Lord of the Rings series, for the first time. That's right, I spent a full day, sitting on the couch, eating two breakfasts, and watched Hobbits go on a journey that changed their life forever. It was a magical experience and now my geek game is on fire!
I went in chronological order starting off the first day with The Hobbit. Here were some of my thoughts while I was watching:
Firstly, Gandalf may have asked Bilbo to go on an adventure, but he could give two flying hoots whether he said yes or not. He was going to send a bunch of dwarfs to Bilbo's house no matter what his answer was. (Not to mention they ate all of his food! You don't touch another person's food!)
But Bilbo listened to his good conscience and went on an adventure he never expected and almost died within the first 30 minutes, but still kept spirits up...mostly.
Radagast the Brown is weirdly awesome and if I was a wizard I would want to have his ability to talk to animals and just live in the forest without a care in the world.
Okay no one told me this was a musical, with the dwarfs breaking out in song and playing with dish-ware in amazing synchronization, to Gollum singing his little tune. I didn't think the movie could get more entertaining!
Speaking of Gollum, can we just take a moment to appreciate this hilariously cute, (but also creepy), little creature? I mean just look at that face!
Also, Bilbo just took something that wasn't even his! Baggins is a dirty little thief and owes Gollum an apology and a whole lot more! Not to mention being selfish and putting everyone else at more risk! Okay, there I said it.
I was definitely wrong about it not getting more interesting! This badass Tauriel just showed up and told everyone who's the boss! She is absolutely my favorite character and her and Kili together is just the sweetest thing ever!
Legolas is an ass and needs to stay in his place!
Alright, Smaug is frickin' awesome and for some reason finding out Benedict Cumberbatch is the voice, just made him 10x more badass.
Who knew Luke Evans was going to come in and save the day? Gaston may not have been able to kill a beast, he sure did kill a dragon!
All I have to say about Thorin is, I have never been so conflicted over a character in my life!
Okay, I want to speak to the sick-hearted person that reconnected Tauriel and Kili at the very end, just to kill Kili right in front of her and rip all of our tender broken hearts out and into a blender!
I have to apologize to Legolas for what I said back there, I'm sorry I jumped to assumptions. You were just in love with someone that didn't love you back, but in the end you did what was best. So, I have to give you respect.
Well, a bunch of people are dead, a war has come to an end, my tears are falling into my ice cream, and damn Bilbo Baggins still has the damn ring and won't tell any one!
Well, that was fun. Now, day two of this adventure extravaganza! The Hobbit was only the beginning, now The Lord of the Rings:
Gandalf is at it again, throwing adventures at people, giving them no choice, but to go on this long soul-wrenching journey. At least he's always by their side to guide the way.
The Fellowship of the Ring gathering together brought a tear to my eye and made me wonder why we can't come to equality that easily. Then I had to remind myself. I was watching a fantasy movie built on a hope for what are reality should look like.
I was already informed about the importance of second breakfast, so I was prepared going into this marathon with eggs, bacon, and danishes galore, but was very disappointed not to hear this mentioned in The Hobbit. I guess they haven't heard of it yet until Merry and Pippin came along.
Did Gandalf just make one of the greatest movie scenes in history and then...die??
And then soon after, all hell breaks loose, with Boromir first trying to kill Frodo and take his ring, then saves Merry from the Orcs raiding the place and take an arrow to his chest! Then, Frodo flees leaving everyone to die even his best friend Sam! Gasp, that was a fast 10 minutes! Holy crap, there's still 2 more movies to go! I need more danishes!
Gollum finally comes out of the shadows, (more like jumps out) and reluctantly joins Sam and Frodo on their journey to Mount Doom (which name alone, is completely terrifying). I would also like to know, has being locked up in a cave for so long, damaged Gollum's taste buds so much he can no longer enjoy potatoes? Who doesn't like "PO-TAY-TOES"?
Merry and Pippin make friends with a tree and frolic along while the others are out there looking for them and think they're dead. However, in the end they do kick some serious Orc ass and completely destroyed Saruman's fortress, so I have to give props.
Yes! Gandalf's back! And getting straight to business.
Okay, I need a map and a list of kingdoms, because where the heck are all these Kings coming from and what war is happening now? I'm so lost and I'm almost out of pastries! I'll have to switch to potatoes soon.
Yes! We finally get to know Gollum's (AKA Smeagol's), back story, and how he got to become his, crazy, creepy, cute self! I don't care if he's mentally unstable, he's still one of my favorite characters!
Here's another King that is a complete royal ass! First he makes Merry wait on him like a slave, then sends his only son left, pretty much to his death! And not to mention at the end, tries to burn them both alive! He needs some serious help and a therapist.
The volcano is RIGHT. THERE! Can't they just throw it at this point, like a sling shot? Smeagol is playing with Frodo's mind, and he is being an idiot, believing him, that Sam would do such things, when Sam is doing all the work, getting them there and saving their butts at every turn! Poor sweet Sam!
Did Sean Astin bring Sloth from the Goonies to the set? I think he's fighting for the wrong side here!
Now, another war has broken out and Aragon is just now stepping up as King and following in his father's foot steps with the same sword to take over a ghost army and fight to the death to help Frodo get to his final destination!
We have another badass woman (pulling off a Mulan) going into battle alongside every creature there is known to man making every woman and little girl watching, filled with pride! You go girl!
Everyone is kicking butt and taking names, while Legolas and Gimli have a bet on how many people they can kill...what a way to keep it interesting fellas.
They finally made it to the dang volcano! Great now, all Frodo has to do is throw it in the fire...Just throw it in...Ah, Gollum! NO! And now Frodo hanging to his death! Oh, Sam saved the day again! Whoo! That was close, my heart rate jumped up to the max! But once again Sam saves the day!
At last, most of the Fellowship made it, war is over, Aragron and Arwen are back together, all is well, and everyone is happy! The end, right? Right?
Of course, that couldn't be the end, could it? No! Two years after he burns the ring, Frodo can't handle the burden and the damage the ring caused, making him join Bilbo, Gandalf, and two of the high arc elves on a ship to Valinor leaving us in a puddle of our tears! They couldn't just leave us happy, could they?
Well, this was quite a journey and I will never be able to look at rings, bow and arrows, or potatoes the same way again. My life is now filled with more geeky references and second breakfasts and I wouldn't want it any other way.
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