Iowa: home of the field of the dreamiest man on the planet.
A thousand miles seems pretty far, but they've got planes and trains and cars and Skype and FaceTime and cell phones and other amazing tools to help keep the romance alive from across state lines.
Risk it for the biscuit. Risk what exactly? We don't know. But BRB while we risk everything for these 27 delicious bake-it-yourself biscuits.
Except the presents are NEW FRIENDS! Why didn't Santa ever think of that?