5 Greeting Cards You Wish You Could Give

I am SO happy for you.

1. Congratulations on your wedding to that person you’ve known for 5 minutes.

gurl.com / Via tumblr

Seriously, I’ve known this pair of socks longer than you’ve known this person.

2. Congrats on your promotion. You worked really hard…sucking up to the boss.

mashable.com / Via Mashable

It must be hard to work with your lips glued to the boss’s butt.

3. Congrats?…sorry?… congrats?…on your unplanned pregnancy.

Are we happy about this? Are we upset? Just tell me how to feel.

4. Congrats, grad! You should’ve stayed in school forever.

haniwi.tumblr.com / Via tumblr

Wait until you see how much debt you have now.

5. Congrats on your new job! I will (not) miss you.

Via tumblr

FREE AT LAST. Good riddance!

Check out more articles on BuzzFeed.com!

This post was created by a member of BuzzFeed Community, where anyone can post awesome lists and creations. Learn more or post your buzz!

  Your Reaction?

    Starting soon, you'll only be able to post a comment on BuzzFeed using a Facebook account or via our app. If you have questions or thoughts, email us here.

    Now Buzzing