About Me: I DO ALL THE SPORTS AND WIN ALL THE GAMES. LADIES, MESSAGE ME.
Most Private Thing I’m Willing to Admit: I drink out of the toilet bowl. Like all the time.
Favorite Quote: “Used to be commander in chief of my pimp ship flying high.”-A lyric Ne-Yo wrote about me
About Me: I have 25 fake Facebook profiles so I can send myself free lives in Candycrush.
Most Private Thing I’m Willing To Admit: I love to play fetch in the nude.
Favorite Quote: “Even Batman has his guano days.”
First Thing People Notice About Me: There is a plant growing out of my head.
About Me: I have been kicked off of OkCorgi 73 times because I am a lobster. I’m back because I am convinced my soulmate is here.
Most Private Thing I’m Willing To Admit: I HATE CHUNKY PEANUT BUTTER.
Favorite Quote: “Shake it like a polar bear ninja.”
First Thing People Notice About Me: I am a lobster.
About Me: Not looking for anything serious. Just want to hang out and get mah belly rubbed.
Most Private Thing I’m Willing To Admit: I pee in my human’s slippers and blame the cat.
Favorite Quote: “If I eat a huge meal and I can get the girl to rub my belly, I think that’s about as romantic as I can think of.” -Ryan Gosling
What I’m Looking For: A belly rub.
About Me: My profile picture is my fabulous derriere because that’s all you need to see. I don’t even need a milkshake, the boys just come to my yard.
Most Private Thing I’m Willing To Admit: My Corgi butt is so fluffy, you could dust your trinkets with it.
Favorite Quote: “There is an art to my posterior.”
Best Reason To Get to Know Me: I mean, just look at that keister.
About Me: I have won every beauty pageant I’ve ever been in. I’m also a grown Corgi man. I have long, luscious whiskers and food often gets stuck in them (I call these my leftovers and yes, I will share them with one lucky lady).
Most Private Thing I’m Willing To Admit: I am Nickelback’s biggest fan.
Favorite Quote: “What the hell is that on Joey’s head?”—Nickelback, greatest lyric EVER written
About Me: I sniff butt on the first date.
Most Private Thing I’m Willing To Admit: I often buy the “sharing size” bag of Cheetos and share only with myself.
Favorite Quote: “You are the best thing that’s ever been mine.”-Me every time I get an Auntie Anne’s pretzel
About Me: I have caught all the Pokemon. This makes me a catch. Message me boys.
Most Private Thing I’m Willing To Admit: My first boyfriend was my Gameboy color (teal).
Favorite Quote: “If you can’t handle me at my worst then you don’t deserve to see my Pokemon card collection. Lmao bye.”-Marilyn Monroe plus me
About Me: I’m a goofy guy with a fun-loving personality. I did not get my first kiss until I was eighteen (spin the bottle is cool and good).
Most Private Thing I’m Willing To Admit: I’m an aggressive fan of Badminton.
Favorite Quote: “Squidward, I used your clarinet to unclog my toilet.”-Spongebob Squarepants.
A Question I Like To Ask On a First Date: If farts were colored, what color would yours be?
About Me: I’m looking for a pretty girl to feed me jerky while I play my XBOX all day.
Most Private Thing I’m Willing To Admit: My human has a newborn baby and I poop in its playpen on purpose.
Favorite Quote: “Eat some pizza, play some Xbox, watch some TV. Gross? Maybe. Me? Yes.” -Dustin Diamond
About Me: I carry my inhaler everywhere just in case I see a hot lady.
Most Private Thing I’m Willing To Admit: I am Obi Wan (see above pic).
Favorite Quote: “That’s not a moon. It’s a space station.” -Me
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