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I Dressed Up As "Star Wars" Characters For A Week And It Got Weird

Bounty hunters can't skateboard.

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From the Outer Rim came a Jedi who mastered the Force like no other...me.

That's R2 and I reminiscing on happier days at the Lars homestead with Uncle Owen.

But it was genuinely cozy and I actually slept in it that night. It's like a Snuggie that summons the Force — but it wasn't cozy enough to protect me from the Dark Side.

I even went to my brother's birthday party and turned up at a restaurant as Darth. Nice.

Here he is doing the Star Trek symbol like the little jerk that he is.

And then I went home alone because when you're a Sith Lord you don't need anyone other than yourself and your sick-ass powers.

By the end of the night I learned that if you do your C-3PO impression enough times, no one will want to dance with you. I could've stayed a protocol droid forever, honestly, but the Galactic Republic awaited me.

I snapped some fire selfies, passed out on this couch at 8 p.m. in full costume, and woke up with mask marks on my face. I was glad to be leaving my life in the Galactic Republic behind.

I felt like I could kick some serious ass dressed as Rey, especially because she has a cool staff (but I really wished I had my own BB-8 to travel around with me).

The first thing that happened on Boba Fett Day was that I made some people scream on the sidewalk in NYC because I scared the hell out of them.

I also bumped into a lot of stuff because it is impossible to see out of that helmet.

I finished Star Wars week by cruising dressed as Boba...and I fell off my skateboard shortly after this photo was taken.

Ultimately, Star Wars week taught me to channel my inner Darth Vader, avoid skateboarding in a costume that's too big for you, and never take crap from stuck-up, half-witted, scruffy-looking nerf herders.

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