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18 Things Your Dog Would Never Tell You

"I'm not barking, I'm singing the song of my people."

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1. "I know I'm not supposed to eat the food on the table, but I also know you cannot resist this face."

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2. "I heard you when you yelled 'come', I'm just on a really, really important adventure."

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3. "You have not tricked me by spelling out 'W-A-L-K', you have only taught me how to spell."

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4. "I might tear some things up while you're gone, but it's only because I REALLY miss you."

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5. "Yes...I have my toys, my adventures, and my pals, but you're still the center of my universe."

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6. "You SAY you don't want me to lick your face. But you do. I know you do. SO I'M GONNA KEEP DOING IT."

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7. "I UNDERSTAND how to play fetch, I just think you chasing me is waaaay more fun."

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8. "I know you got that little bed just for me, but I also know that nothing in the world is better than puppy snuggles...so I'm staying right here, next to you."

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9. "YOU'LL NEVER UNDERSTAND HOW FUN THIS IS. OKAY?!"

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10. "Sometimes I pee places I'm not supposed to, but when ya gotta go, ya gotta go! Ya know?!"

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11. "I eat crayons to make picking up my poop more enjoyable for you."

12. "When I chew your shoes I'm simply saving you from making a huge fashion mistake."

13. "All those mysterious missing socks...I keep them in a special hiding spot."

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14. "The things I roll in aren't smelly...your nose is just broken."

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15. "I am not barking. I am singing the song of my people."

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16. "Do you see this disgusting thing I have presented you with? IT IS A GIFT, BECAUSE I LOVE YOU."

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17. "SOMETIMES the vet can be kinda scary...but I feel much safer when you're by my side."

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18. "I know I've chewed things up, peed in the house, and barked while you're trying to sleep...but you'll always be MY HUMAN and I love you more than anything. EVEN MORE THAN BACON."

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