18 Things Your Dog Would Never Tell You

    "I'm not barking, I'm singing the song of my people."

    Kaelin Tully
    by Kaelin Tully

    BuzzFeed Staff

    1. "I know I'm not supposed to eat the food on the table, but I also know you cannot resist this face."

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    2. "I heard you when you yelled 'come', I'm just on a really, really important adventure."

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    3. "You have not tricked me by spelling out 'W-A-L-K', you have only taught me how to spell."

    4. "I might tear some things up while you're gone, but it's only because I REALLY miss you."

    5. "Yes...I have my toys, my adventures, and my pals, but you're still the center of my universe."

    6. "You SAY you don't want me to lick your face. But you do. I know you do. SO I'M GONNA KEEP DOING IT."

    7. "I UNDERSTAND how to play fetch, I just think you chasing me is waaaay more fun."

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    8. "I know you got that little bed just for me, but I also know that nothing in the world is better than puppy snuggles...so I'm staying right here, next to you."

    9. "YOU'LL NEVER UNDERSTAND HOW FUN THIS IS. OKAY?!"

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    10. "Sometimes I pee places I'm not supposed to, but when ya gotta go, ya gotta go! Ya know?!"

    11. "I eat crayons to make picking up my poop more enjoyable for you."

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    12. "When I chew your shoes I'm simply saving you from making a huge fashion mistake."

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    13. "All those mysterious missing socks...I keep them in a special hiding spot."

    14. "The things I roll in aren't smelly...your nose is just broken."

    15. "I am not barking. I am singing the song of my people."

    16. "Do you see this disgusting thing I have presented you with? IT IS A GIFT, BECAUSE I LOVE YOU."

    17. "SOMETIMES the vet can be kinda scary...but I feel much safer when you're by my side."

    18. "I know I've chewed things up, peed in the house, and barked while you're trying to sleep...but you'll always be MY HUMAN and I love you more than anything. EVEN MORE THAN BACON."