Matt Damon Inks Deal To Make Epic Filipino Movies

The Filipino film industry has struggled to make their historical movies more epic and commercially appealing in the eyes of the outside world. Many epic Filipino movies have fallen short of being noticed by western audiences. But recent critical response to Matt Damon’s starring role in the 2016 movie The Great Wall has provided Filipino filmmakers with a crucial key. The trailer for The Great Wall revealed the missing ingredient that would make Filipino movies a gazillion times more epic! Good ol’ savior Matt Damon! As a result, Matt Damon signed a deal to remake 3 epic Filipino movies (Heneral Luna, Bonifacio: Ang Unang Pangulo, and Jose Rizal) and to star in the big screen adaptation of a hit TV series (Amaya).

Here's the first look at these epic Filipino films starring our one and only savior, Matt Damon:

Heneral Damon

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Matt Damon will star as the strong-willed General Antonio Luna in the remake of 2015’s blockbuster biopic, Heneral Luna. Only Matt Damon’s inner Jason Bourne can have the skills to survive the brutal assassination (at least 30 gunshot and stab wounds!!) of General Antonio Luna and perhaps save the First Philippine Republic from falling into the hands of U.S. imperialism.

Supremo Damon

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Damon will also grace the silver screen as the Supremo Andres Bonifacio in the remake of 2014’s award winning film Bonifacio: Ang Unang Pangulo. In playing Bonifacio, Matt Damon shall employ his survival skills honed from The Martian, to survive the mountainous rainforest of Cavite and evade Aguinaldo’s men who were out to murder him. Only with Matt Damon can the Supremo rightfully claim the Presidency and save the Philippine revolution against all invaders and oppressors!

Gat Matt Rizal

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And, of course, Matt Damon’s heroic roster would not be complete without playing the role of Philippine National Hero, José Rizal, in the upcoming remake of the 1998 classic historical film, José Rizal. Matt Damon shall channel his inner Linus Caldwell and use his pickpocketing skills to pick the bullet and switch it with a dummy. Only Matt Damon as Rizal can save himself from his Mi Ultimo Adios.

Bai Mattaya

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And apparently Matt Damon’s acting skills are sooo on point that he was also casted to play the title-role of Bai Amaya, a pre-colonial warrior princess, for the movie adaptation of the hit TV series Amaya. In this role, Matt Damon would have to channel all his former characters to be on fleek and be as fierce as Amaya and her twin snake in taking down the tyrant Raja Mangubat.

Ding ang bato!

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Rumor has it that veteran filmmaker Erik Matti has dropped the unnamed mystery actress casted to play Darna next year and is now also considering Matt Damon to play the Philippines' own legendary superhero. We sure hope this rumor is true. Darna is a cultural icon that has soared through the decades and it is the most celebrated character in Philippine comicdom, perhaps the most popular superhero all throughout Southeast Asia. So what better role can Matt Damon have than to play the one and only savior of planet earth against the serpent queen Valentina and her army of aliens? Do you think Matt Damon has what it takes to swallow the all powerful white stone and scream DARNA!

Just like your favorite Pancit, be it Bihon Guisado or Palabok, Filipino epic films are always full of nutritious and colorful ingredients. But these films have fallen short of attracting the taste buds of the west in the same manner that a cup of instant ramen noodle has invaded American college life. Since its inception, Hollywood has whitewashed our diverse and colorful history so it is only wise that asian filmmakers follow the same money-making recipe, right? Now that we have discovered Matt Damon, the missing salty ingredient, can Filipino movies finally tear down the great wall that hinders its success in the west? Can Matt Damon be the savior of Asian films?

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I mean, duh? As they say in Elysium, "HE CAN SAVE US ALL!"