6. Poop stalemate
“When trying to poop in public we try to pretend we’re not in the stall and act dead silent if someone comes in. We won’t poop until they’re left the bathroom. If they came to poop there is usually a poop stalemate. Nobody wins in a poop stalemate.”
16. “Tried on a shirt that was too small, then started to panic in the dressing room after realizing how restrictive it is when you can’t get it back off over the boobs.”
“Start thinking that you either have to 1. buy the shirt and live in it now, or 2. they’re going to have to use the jaws of life to remove it.”
- Travelers are concerned their laptops will be stolen now that the US is banning electronic devices on flights coming from the Middle East.
- Some GOP senators are urging caution in dismissing Trump's wiretapping claims — despite the FBI and NSA saying there's no evidence.
- A witness in a US case against the largest money laundering scheme in Russia mysteriously plunged from his apartment window.
- Mariah Carey revealed she's making a movie based on her iconic song "All I Want For Christmas Is You" 🎄🎅