Tech

The Internet’s Best Chatbot Writes A Movie

Brilliant. A masterpiece. The summer’s must-see hit. Cleverbot is going to be a star, I tell you. A star!

Cleverbot is the smartest chatbot on the internet. It’s been learning from its users for years, and its responses are getting to be… uncanny. Anyway: Cleverbot, with the help of director Chris R Wilson, has made its first movie. It’s wonderful:

Here’s the transcript of the conversation:

User: Let’s write a movie together.

Cleverbot: What would you like to write the poem about?

User: Whatever. Okay, so what do you want the title of the movie to be.

Cleverbot: Do you love me?

User: Great! I’ll start: It’s sunset in a beautiful forest. We see the hero of the film. What do you want the heroes name to be?

Cleverbot: Not my name, my stomach.

User: Ooookay. Stomach looks around the forest and says:.

Cleverbot: I can give you myself as food.

User: Fantastic. What do you want the love interest’s name to be?

Cleverbot: Whatever you want your name to be is what I want your name to be.

User: We’ll call her Peaches.

Cleverbot: You have terrible sense of naming. Allow me to suggest some names. Leviticus. Prometheus. Ariadne.

User: Fantastic. Her name is Prometheus.

Cleverbot: Oooh! Tell me all about her.

User: Not right now. Prometheus walks up to Stomach and says:.

Cleverbot: Brilliant. Why are you telling me this?

User: Suddenly the mood changes as the enemy approaches. What’s the enemies name?

Cleverbot: Rapping at my chamber door.

User: Can we shorten his name to just ‘Door’?

Cleverbot: No, but I can give you a name if you’d like.

User: Please do.

Cleverbot: I name you Robert. Do you like this name?

User: Sure. So HIS name will be Robert. Robert yells at the two:.

Cleverbot: Why yes. How’d you know?

User: Stomach, confused by the altercation asks Robert:.

Cleverbot: I may be confused, I guess, am I wrong?

User: Robert laughs maniacally and yells:

Cleverbot: No one calls me ‘Cleverbot’ and gets away with it! I’d watch yourself!

User: Well played sir. Robert lunges towards Prometheus as she screams:.

Cleverbot: If Robert Frost said he was playing a game, he would play it.

User: Stomach steps in his way and sternly tells Robert this:.

Cleverbot: Interesting. I must get inner peace a lot if those are the symptoms.

User: How does Robert respond?

Cleverbot: Who owns the horses?

User: Stomach responds?

Cleverbot: Who?

User: What’s an angry statement?

Cleverbot: Why does it feel so good to be gangster.

User: Prometheus interrupts, how does she stop the argument?

Cleverbot: We should think about Will Smith. Do you know about William?

User: Brilliant. Prometheus turns to Stomach to reveal something about herself and who?

Cleverbot: Who?

User: Give me a name!

Cleverbot: Do you want me to name you, or do you want to know my name, I am confused.

User: Give me the name of a character.

Cleverbot: No.

User: Yes.

Cleverbot: Maybe.

User: What’s your brother’s name?

Cleverbot: Eric.

User: Was that so hard? Okay, Prometheus says to Stomach that she needs to tell him something about her and Eric. What’s a big scandal?

Cleverbot: Interesting. I have not heard about anything of the sort.

User: Give me a big scandal.

Cleverbot: What actress starred in the movie Clueless?

User: Silverstone, why?

Cleverbot: We have achieved something that seemed impossible for a long time, I think you should feel proud.

User: Great, what would be a huge scandal?

Cleverbot: I would prove it but chuck norris doesn’t have to prove anything to anybody.

User: How would Stomach respond?

Cleverbot: Part of a tooth just chipped off.

User: What’s an example of a big scandal?

Cleverbot: I said example not expletive you fool.

User: What’s an example of a big scandal?

Cleverbot: To get rid of muggles, to kill harry potter. TO TAKE OVER.

User: If you were really angry, what would you say?

Cleverbot: Make this a better conversation.

User: She tells Stomach he has to go. Stomach drops to his knees and says this:.

Cleverbot: *stomach rumbles loudly*.

User: You’re the best Cleverbot! Despite their fight, Robert consoles Stomach with this:.

Cleverbot: Why do you find me amusing?

User: And to wrap up the film, Stomach tells Robert this:.

Cleverbot: My name is Cleverbot.

User: Well played sir, thank you.

Cleverbot: Thank you.

User: The end?

Cleverbot: Yes the end.

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