1. 13. Nero & Brutus - The Rescuers (1977)
More like a pair of bloodhounds, Medusa’s trusted pets Nero & Brutus are essentially memorable for one thing… One of the greatest organ solos of all time!
Need to get this on my iPod.
2. 12. Diablo - Sleeping Beauty (1959)
It seems like birds were destined to be side-kicks. And perhaps non are more evil then Maleficent’s raven, Diablo. It is a common Disney trope to end a film with the secondary villain’s allegiance to the principle villain either waver or completely break. Whether it’s Iago or the Evil Queen’s pet raven in Snow White, it’s not rare to see secondary villains have a change of heart. Fortunately for Diablo he has no heart. His loyalty to Maleficent is uncompromisable and his soul is likely just as black as his feathers.
3. 11. Morph - Treasure Planet (2002)
It doesn’t get much cuter then Morph! Just look at this guy. While he technically hangs out with the villainous Cyborg and a gang of pirates, Morph’s record is clean as far as I’m concerned. Literally he could have skinned puppies and killed Dumbo and I’d still find it in my heart to love him. For all who missed Disney’s Treasure Planet, consider giving it a try, for Morph!
4. 10. Pain and Panic - Hercules (1997)
These adorable shape-shifting imps employed by Hades are certainly comic standouts in Hercules. Watching Hades freak out when he sees Pain sporting Hercules signature sandals is definitely a priceless moment in the film. IF only they had more screen time. If, if is good…
5. 9. Facilier’s Shadow - Princess and the Frog (2009)
Stick with me on this one. While you can make the argument that Doctor Facilier’s shadow is more of an extension of Facilier himself, I think that argument works both ways; Since an extension of one’s master is really the essence of being a side-kick. Furthermore in numerous scenes the shadow is shown to have it’s own conscious and personality. Whether it’s kicking Lawrence in the butt, turning into a snake or even snatching the medallion from Tiana, the creative ways Disney brought this “entity” to life is more then worthy of induction on this list.
6. 8. Fidget - The Great Mouse Detective (1986)
Rattigan’s peg-legged, Rodent Delight’s drinking henchman has serious character. With his signature Raspy voice, Fidget at times can be charming and lovable, then turn around and literally scare the shit out of you. A very underrated character in a very underrated film.
7. 7. Horace & Jasper - 101 Dalmations (1961)
These two low-lifes are pretty much game for anything. Whether it’s locking old ladies in closets or drowning a small village of puppies. If you need some dirty work done, these two are your guys.
8. 6. Kronk - The Emperor’s New Groove (2000)
Perhaps not the most competent henchman, Kronk get’s huge points for his fondue expertise, ability to speak chipmunk and freak athleticism. And oh yeah, he’s fucking hilarious. Featuring Patrick Warbourton’s signature deadpan delivery, Kronk is immediately endearing to the audience. So much so that you honestly get sick of following David Spade and John Goodman around the jungle and would much rather check in on Kronk battling with his own conscious as he prepares more Spinach Puffs.
9. 5. Sir Hiss - Robin Hood (1973)
Naturally you’d assume any secondary villain would get lost in the epic-ness that is Prince John. But to Sir Hiss’ credit, he more then holds his own. Taking a page from Kaa, Sir Hiss serves as the suspicious assistant to Prince John during his erroneous tenor as ‘King.’ When not protecting the Phony King of England, Sir Hiss can be seen flying around in balloons or drinking large quantities of ale. Silly serpent indeed.
10. 4. Flotsam & Jetsam - The Little Mermaid (1989)
Marking the beginning of the 90’s Disney renaissance, The Little Mermaid featured the iconic villain Ursala and her pet moray eels Flotsam and Jetsam. Presented as symbiotic twins, these cunning deviants are linked by their two white eyes, that when combined serve as Ursala’s portal to the outside world. With nothing but discontempt and pure hatred for all of Atlantica’s poor and unfortunate souls, Flotsam and Jetsam are anything but comic relief. Shit they are evil.
11. 3. Mr. Smee - Peter Pan (1953)
Apparently he is a hugely popular character at Disneyland Paris. Damn you French hipsters.
12. 2. Iago - Aladdin (1992)
Undoubtable one of Disney’s most iconic villainous sidekicks, Iago forever imprinted the voice of Gilbert Godfrey into children’s psyche forever. Serving another iconic villain in Jafar, there may not be a more formidable pairing of evil minds in the Disney pantheon.
Sidebar - Is it considered weird if Jasmine in her red slave attire was your first childhood crush?
13. 1. Joanna - The Rescuers Down Under (1990)
The Rescuers Down Under was sadly one of my childhood favorites that just didn’t stand the test of time. While Down Under was distributed theatrically, it lacked the charm and quality of it’s predecessor and felt like a straight to VHS effort. Now, with that being said, one thing held true. Don’t fuck with the legend that is Joanna!
Unquestionably one of the funniest secondary villains you will ever find, this goanna will stop at nothing to get what she wants… EGGS! It doesn’t matter if it’s platypus eggs, snake eggs or eagle eggs. Joanna will eat them all!!! You cannot stop her!!!
- Chris Froome won the Tour de France. He's the first Brit to win the cycling race three times 🚴