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17 Things Guys Over 30 Need To Stop Saying

Do they make these jeans any skinnier?

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1. "I love dating women my age. Hell, I've even dated older ones."

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Are you looking for applause that you're dating age appropriately? That's like wanting kudos for not farting in a crowded elevator.

3. "We should get some Jäger bombs."

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Why on god's green earth are you still drinking Jägermeister? And more importantly why are you doing Jäger bombs? Or shots in general? Be the grown man that you are and sip a damn whiskey like the rest of us. Or a Pinot Gris, whatever floats your boat.

5. "We should head to Daytona for spring break."

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Spring break from what? Your job? You have about as much reason being at a college spring break party as a giraffe does being on a ladder, which is none.

7. "OMG!"

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I don't mean "Oh my god," but literally saying "OMG" out loud. Unless you are 12 and texting your friend about the latest Star Wars rumor, you should erase this from your lexicon.

12. "I don't listen to the haters."

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It's good that you don't listen to the haters. It really is. But using the term "haters" makes it seem like you still kind of do listen, so...

15. "Bro."

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Bruh, brosef, etc., all make you sound like you just did a keg stand at the Omega Chi house. Wait... you didn't just do a keg stand at the Omega Chi house, did you?

16. "See you in da club!"

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Unless the club you are talking about is a book club, your old ass should be as far away as possible. No one wants to become "Old Dave," so stop while you're ahead.

17. ::to a young person:: "I can't believe you've never seen [Ghostbusters, Beetlejuice, etc.]!"

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Remember when you were 22 and people made fun of you for not seeing The Shining? It's the same thing with any movie you consider a classic now, no need to pay the shaming forward.

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