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    17 Things Guys Over 30 Need To Stop Saying

    Do they make these jeans any skinnier?

    1. "I love dating women my age. Hell, I've even dated older ones."

    Gramercy Pictures / Via

    Are you looking for applause that you're dating age appropriately? That's like wanting kudos for not farting in a crowded elevator.

    2. "Yeah, I got swag."

    New Line Cinema / Via

    Saying you have swag is basically the opposite of actually having it.

    3. "We should get some Jäger bombs."

    Why on god's green earth are you still drinking Jägermeister? And more importantly why are you doing Jäger bombs? Or shots in general? Be the grown man that you are and sip a damn whiskey like the rest of us. Or a Pinot Gris, whatever floats your boat.

    4. "Does this fedora look good?"


    No. It doesn't, so stop asking.

    5. "We should head to Daytona for spring break."

    A24 / Via

    Spring break from what? Your job? You have about as much reason being at a college spring break party as a giraffe does being on a ladder, which is none.

    6. "Ariana Grande is smoking hot."

    Ewww. Even if you do find her attractive you're probably old enough to be her father, so keep your creepy opinions to yourself.

    7. "OMG!"


    I don't mean "Oh my god," but literally saying "OMG" out loud. Unless you are 12 and texting your friend about the latest Star Wars rumor, you should erase this from your lexicon.

    8. ::in a Borat voice:: "My wife!"

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    Fun fact: Borat came out eight years ago, but that joke makes it seem much longer.

    9. "I can't even."

    BBC America / Via

    Can't even what? FINISH YOUR SENTENCES!

    10. "Do these jeans come any skinnier?"

    NBC / Via

    Even guys in their twenties have moved on from excessively tight jeans. You should follow suit.

    11. "If that was my daughter, I'd..."

    She's not your daughter, so stop hypothetically disciplining her.

    12. "I don't listen to the haters."

    Disney / Via

    It's good that you don't listen to the haters. It really is. But using the term "haters" makes it seem like you still kind of do listen, so...

    13. "YOLO!"

    Warner Bros. / Via

    You sound like a dad trying to be cool. Are you a dad trying to be cool?

    14. "Did you hear [blank] got promoted? He's like 25!"


    Most likely [blank] deserved it, so stop crying and work harder.

    15. "Bro."

    Colombia Pictures / Via

    Bruh, brosef, etc., all make you sound like you just did a keg stand at the Omega Chi house. Wait... you didn't just do a keg stand at the Omega Chi house, did you?

    16. "See you in da club!" / Via

    Unless the club you are talking about is a book club, your old ass should be as far away as possible. No one wants to become "Old Dave," so stop while you're ahead.

    17. ::to a young person:: "I can't believe you've never seen [Ghostbusters, Beetlejuice, etc.]!"

    Colombia Pictures / Via

    Remember when you were 22 and people made fun of you for not seeing The Shining? It's the same thing with any movie you consider a classic now, no need to pay the shaming forward.

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