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The 7 Deadly Sins Of Being In Your Twenties

Amen.

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1. Ye Olde Random Hookup

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How could you help it? You were drunk, they were drunk. You didn't ask their name and they didn't bother to ask yours. How could that end badly?

Penance: Having your friends tell you the next day that that guy you drunkenly made out with was your other friend's step brother. Younger step brother, that is.

2. Ye Gluttonous Netflix Marathon

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No one simply watches one episode of Orange Is The New Black. No one. How you thought you were going to is beyond me. Well, there goes your weekend plans. Y'know, the plans that actually involved other people?

Penance: Being too tired to get to brunch the next day. And they were having a waffle special!

3. Ye Credit Card Dance

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"Open one to pay off the other? Genius!" – You, right before you sign your name to that shiny and new, albeit high APR, credit card. Make that your third shiny and new, albeit high APR, credit card.

Penance: Calling your parents and explaining why you need that inheritance now, please.

5. Ye Jealous Fight With Your BFF

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Your friend just got promoted and is getting married. You are still slanging bagels and coffee. Insult you actually don't mean to say in 3… 2… 1...

Penance: Telling your friend how sorry you are and offering to help make centerpieces, all while drunkenly saying how much you love each other.

6. Ye Impatience For Good Things To Come

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You just found out you didn't get that job, and now you're taking out your frustration on the barista? Not cool.

Penance: Tipping said barista more than you normally would, then meekly walking out of the coffee shop as customers look at you disapprovingly.

7. Ye Not Giving A Shit About Your Health

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Why try that spin class when Ben & Jerry's is on sale and a new Bob's Burgers is DVR'd?

Penance: Trying to fit into those skinny jeans you bought last week. I repeat: Last. Week.

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