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30 Secrets Baristas Won't Tell You

Mo Lattes Mo Problems.

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1. If you want your name spelled correctly, just tell us. We won't be offended.

That way you aren't mad when I yell out, "Snarf, your latte is ready!"


6. As much as we love your patronage, this is not your office.

I know your screenplay is important and all, but I really need to clean your table now, so...


11. Extra hot drinks actually ruin the milk.

What are you even tasting? Sulfur?


13. The holidays mean holiday drinks, which means horrible concoctions we are forced to make.

Oh, and there's nothing wrong about asking for a pumpkin spice latte in June, just don't be surprised when I tell you that we haven't had that on the menu since February.


17. We're not all accomplished latte artists.

Thanks for the expectations, Pinterest!

19. We couldn't care less if you don't like the music that is playing.


Because, A) we are forced to play it by management, or B) we chose it because we want to listen to it. Point being, either way it's not getting changed.


22. Regulars who never tip will be served as slow as possible.

It's awesome that you think we're pals, but I'd trade our friendship in for a few bucks every now and then.


30. We dread the site of seeing interns/assistants/gophers walking through the door.

Oh, you need to pay for these all on different transactions AND you need a carrier? #FML