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20 Rookie Mistakes Every Guy Makes

"Uh... that was already on my computer when I got here!"

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1. Forgetting to clear your browser history.

Comedy Central / Via

This is why the incognito tab was invented, fellas.

2. Trying way too hard to hit on someone.

You'll learn to be smooth, but it may take a while.

3. Hitting on a member of your friend's family.

NBC / Via

When has this ever turned out well for anyone?

4. Dousing yourself with way too much cologne.

NBC / Via

I know you think the smell will wear off, but that doesn't mean you have to use half the bottle.

5. Experimenting with different hats.

Men don't get many accessories, so that's why we try so many hats. It's also why so many of us fail at wearing them.

6. Buying swimming trunks without lining.

Do you want everyone to see your dong? Because that's how you accidentally show everyone your dong.

7. Shaving with a pink lady razor... and cutting the crap out of your face with it.

These only exist to prove that women are fundamentally stronger than men.

8. Thinking you have enough time to masturbate before your parent/roommate/s.o. gets home.

Warner Bros.

"Why do I look flushed? Uh... I was exercising?"

9. Experimenting with weird facial hair.

If you're lucky enough to grow any, that is.

10. Going commando when you shouldn't.


Basketball shorts are NOT swim trunks, you still have to wear underwear. Unless you like rocking the penis shadow look.

11. Getting overzealous while manscaping.


You couldn't stop at just a trim, right? Now you must suffer the wrath of itchy crotch like the rest of us once did.

12. Trying to seem cool by drinking too much.

Colombia Pictures / Via

Seriously, this is how people die, so maybe cool it on the hooch, bruh.

13. Touching your penis after getting something spicy on your fingers.

If it feels spicy in your mouth, it's probably going to feel spicy on your junk.

14. Using shampoo as lube in the shower.

20th Century Fox / Via

It seems like a good idea initially, but afterwards, you're like, "WHYYYYYYYY?"

15. Experimenting with haircuts.

You aren't going to look like Brad Pitt in Se7en, no matter how much you try.
Pascal Le Segretain / Via Getty Images

You aren't going to look like Brad Pitt in Se7en, no matter how much you try.

16. Accidentally dousing your balls in Gold Bond.

Sometimes we have to make mistakes in order to learn that a little goes a long way.

17. Spending way too much at a strip club.


It's almost like it's the type of place designed to take your money.

18. Getting in over your head in a new sport.

"Rugby? How hard could that be?" – You, before that concussion.

19. Thinking that you can just lie to your significant other, and get away with it.

Oxygen / Via

And it will be all your fault, so that's fun.

20. Thinking that you're flirting with a person when you're actually just being creepy.

Because it turns out that scaring the crap out of people is NOT hot.

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