3. Don’t question a mother’s intuition.
Analysis: What I love about this review is that instead of switching to a different pizza place, this parent just makes sure that their daughter never answers the door. I mean, yes, the driver may or may not be a pedophile, but that’s the chance you take if you want to keep getting the pizza with the “simply amazing” flavored crust.
2. Jackson’s review of Chuck E. Cheese’s.
Analysis: Jackson is just saying what we’ve all been thinking. I mean, $20 for 100 tokens does seem pretty steep, and the fact that he saw rats in the kitchen really paints the picture and made me feel like I was there. Also, I too hate things that smell like a garbage. All in all this is a great case for Obamacare.
1. The most metal pizzeria ever.
Analysis: This review has everything you want, from the way the waiter “leened” in and the fact that it was a question THE WHOLE TIME. I would totally check out this place and order the #666, which I assume they have, that is if they acknowledge me, of course??