1.
It always starts out with one of these:
2.
Then there's the question that always makes you wanna scratch your face:
3.
You'll hear this approximately 300 times between November and February:
4.
Usually accompanied by a sympathetic look toward your significant other:
5.
Ironically enough, this is usually asked by someone who was into facial hair before you were:
6.
Just because you're wearing a red flannel or carrying an axe, you'll get asked:
7.
The prelude to a one-sided conversation about Victorian England or something:
8.
One you have to think about (then realizing you were stroking your beard all along):
9.
The odds of hearing this during October rise 1,000%:
10.
The odds of hearing this during November rise 10,000%:
11.
Always asked by someone who wants to put stuff in your beard:
12.
The main reason why this mustache went out of style:
13.
Celebrity comparisons are inevitable (and exhausting):
14.
This barrage of questions by someone who will never, ever need mustache wax:
15.
The one that makes you want to hide away from the world:
16.
At least this one answers one question — you know they disapprove of your facial hair:
17.
And then, after all that:
Gentlemen, acquaint yourselves with Just For Men Mustache & Beard. Then all you'll have to do is learn to graciously accept hundreds of compliments.
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