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The Definitive "Hot Or Not" Ranking Of '90s Heartthrobs

Featuring everyone you ever crushed on, ever.

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Jonathan Taylor Thomas

All Girl Productions

"That baby face is a gift that keeps on giving."

"I was so in love with JTT. I was, like, DEPRESSED about JTT."

"Like depressed he couldn't be yours?"

"Yes. I literally cried."

Leo DiCaprio

Twentieth Century Fox

"I like pretty boys."

"I think my attraction was 90% hair, 10% blueness of eyes. Nothing else matters."

"I liked him on Growing Pains and then never again."

"I hate Titanic. I hate Romeo & Juliet.

"I hate how wide his face has gotten in his thirties."

Mark Wahlberg

Universal Pictures

"HOTTEST when he was in I Heart Huckabees riding a bike in his firefighter uniform. I mean he was hot but so empty, like, unimaginable as a boyfriend. Now he is totally husband material. Oh god, I just said husband material. Kill me."

Dave Coulier

ABC Photo Archives

"All of my friends were hot for Uncle Jesse, but Coulier would have been such a good boyfriend IMO."

"Stamos wants BJs, Coulier wants to make out for hours."

"Uncle Jesse was so hot and now he's shilling yogurt and it's so depressing."

Justin Timberlake

web-1.qa.popdust.com

"I have almost no memory of my own life but I do remember watching Disney Channel in my parents' basement and seeing NSYNC performing 'I Want You Back' in an ad for a concert special and watching JT, like, turn around and smile at the camera, and me being like, 'I UNDERSTAND SEXUALITY.'"

Edward Furlong

TriStar Pictures

"Was anyone else attracted to Edward Furlong but didn't want to be? I remember watching Pet Cemetery and thinking, What is this feeling?"

"It is really intense, right?"

Breckin Meyer

Paramount Pictures

"Breckin Meyer would be the type of terrible boyfriend who you'd invite to dinner at your parent's house and he wouldn't show up because he was at the skatepark with his bros."

"He would have subsisted on Slim Jims."

Edward the Tank Engine

ttte.wikia.com

"'Edward is a kind engine, who is always keen to help a friend in need.' —His Wikipedia page. That's what I like in a man/train."

"Thomas was kind of a player."

Freddie Prinze Jr.

Warner Bros.

"So hot somehow in spite of the weirdness and pointiness of his hair."

"He always seemed so boring to me, like a slightly more charismatic Carson Daly."

"Like, kind of a tool."

"The part in She's All That when he does the, like, pseudo-moving 'I am more than the sport I play' slam poetry thing makes me want to die of secondhand embarrassment."

"For some reason I couldn't get past just how bad of an actor he was that he just made me uncomfortable."

"FPJ was like a human golden retriever."

Joseph Gordon-Levitt

NBC Universal

"He reminded me too much of my best friend's little sister."

"Why else would you watch 3rd Rock From the Sun? French Stewart? NO."

"JGL should have joined Hanson."

Hanson

mtv.com

"Sorry, the middle one was a hottie and that was never age-appropriate for me to say. Probably even now."

"I pretended to think they were hot but I found their hair appalling."

"I genuinely thought all the Hansons were girls the first time I saw the 'MMMBop' video."

Brian Austin Green

Fox

"Nope."

"Pass."

"Creep vibe."

"I felt like he would put his entire tongue in my mouth. It scared me. He was too lustful."

"I feel like his closet only had vests in it."