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21 Of The Funniest Tweets By Women This Week

"This dude in Sephora told his wife 'just get whatever you want' and I swear heads everywhere turned."

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1.

I can't take one more man pretending he invented dieting. I drank "Soylent" in college when it was called Slim-Fast. https://t.co/DtN9MXC5Qw

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3.

A great twist on Game of Thrones would be if the whole cast died from infections from minor wounds because theres no antibiotics yet

4.

The world right now is like when you'd get bored with your Sim City and just use all the disaster options at once

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5.

this is the last thing you see after you talk shit about garfield

6.

This dude in Sephora told his wife "just get whatever you want" and I swear heads everywhere turned.

7.

The creepiest phrases I've read on Twitter in the last few days are "clown smell" and "Billy Bush weekend."

8.

No, YOU spent all day trying to force your cat to pose for fake "back to school day" photos.

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9.

when will my reflection show who i am inside

10.

Thank goodness for the BBC. I don't pay my TV licence to see filth like "mother" on the telly.

11.

The teen running The World computer simulation really needs to lay off the Red Bull.

12.

when you're depressed but also want everyone to see your penis.

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13.

what's up with this dramatic movie poster font choice. how many did he kill on his first day

14.

can i get uuuuuh one unhappy meal

15.

I, too, casually arrange photographs of my 100 children to face outwards so I can only see the backs of frames

16.

When you take a selfie to get a photo of the hottie behind you!

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17.

WHO ARE YOU TALKING TO and other things i would like to ask my neighbour who spends literal hours leaning out her window, on the phone

18.

I'm just a girl, standing in front of a straight, white boy, telling him I know more about the subject than him because it's my actual job.

19.

if ghosts r real why are there no dinosaur ghosts? think about that, but u won't bc i just blew your mind with something called logic, idiot

20.

If female writers wrote characters of the opposite sex like male writers do

21.

I'm probably more pleased with myself than I should be.