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Just 18 Of The Most Hilarious Tweets By Women This Week

"Ok so when Selena Gomez's friend gives her a kidney it's 'true friendship' but when I toss my kidney over Brendan Fraser's gate it's 'ma'am.'"

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wouldn't it be cool if silicon valley tried to disrupt things that are actually broken, like men

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3.

How can I be a misogynist if I live in my MOM's basement

4.

Best part of Cast Away has to be when Tom Hanks spends hours on cave paintings of his true love The Grinch Who Stol… https://t.co/b9wnXhszrR

5.

when someone asks if you're trying a new eyeshadow but it's really just redness breakout from your debilitating ski… https://t.co/Ds7c1dCyQD

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If you don't have a husband you can't get murdered by him = life advice from Forensic Files

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Sorry, the old Scully can't come to the phone right now... #tbt

12.

dating someone based only on looks is so shallow. consider other things like can they unironically listen to the jonas brothers?

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13.

"Why do you have to make this political?!" *gestures around vaguely, wearily*

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Before u leave the house, think of the acronym 'WOWEE' Wallet phOne Wkeys Egg Egg (backup)

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Ok so when Selena Gomez's friend gives her a kidney it's "true friendship" but when I toss my kidney over Brendan Fraser's gate it's "ma'am"

16.

time out new york "Undateables" should just be called "Single Women In NYC Are Literally Perfect, Single Men In NYC… https://t.co/DkqwEusAEf

17.

"SO BACK IN THE DAY, MY FRIEND HAD THIS YACHT AND YOU WOULD NOT BELIIIIIIIIEVE THE THINGS I SAW GO DOWN..."

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