1.
as the daughter of 8 fathers, i, too, feminism
2.
the Venn diagram of dudes lining up for Szechuan sauce and dudes who make fun of girls lining up for Unicorn frappuccinos is a circle
3.
when ur song comes on but nothing's right
4.
⊂_ヽ ＼＼ Λ＿Λ ＼( ˇωˇ) / ⌒ / へ＼ / / ＼＼ ﾚ ノ ヽ_つ / / saying "females" is weird ( (ヽ | |、 \ | 丿 ＼ | | ) / ノ ) Lﾉ
5.
Someone left this clown nose outside my front door should I: A. Call the cops B. Burn down my house C. Too late I… https://t.co/7zKkDUJt4N
6.
7.
let’s all just light our computers on fire and call it a day
8.
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when u started on twitter vs now
10.
Every day, ask yourself: am I closer to my goal of managing a haunted bed and breakfast perched upon a weathered cliff
11.
it..it’s 69 degrees in Nice right now *sheds tear* ...nice
12.
Young Sheldon and chill?
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hey girl are u today because ur 10/10
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Tfw you're a cat but also a cool guidance counselor that needs to have a frank talk with you about your future
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mother! is a great documentary about dating male poets
17.
two biggest shocks of adult life: 1. everyone does cocaine 2. cheese is fucking expensive
18.
WebMD not providing any insight into why I get irrationally angry when I see pictures of salad.
19.
"You're going to die alone" is a pretty good burn but I think "You're going to die surrounded" is even better
20.
the two genders
21.
meal prep is so trash lmao. you just be eating that 2-day old brown rice wishing you had never been born.
22.
When you've already taken off your makeup for the night, but your friends invite you to @Applebees for $1 margarita… https://t.co/eXs2IeUJlB
23.
i want to PIPE him Protect Inspire Peg Encourage