Style

Which Of These Things Are Dating Deal Breakers For You?

Let's discuss.

Posted on
Julie Gerstein
Julie Gerstein
BuzzFeed Staff

  1. Check all that apply. Would you break up with your significant other:
    Check
    If they LOVED TWITTER.
    Check
    If they LOVED TWITTER and spent more time on Twitter than with you.
    Check
    If they wrote incomprehensible tweets on Twitter all the time.
    Check
    If they woke up early — like at 5am — just to tweet.
    Check
    ...like just to tweet out things like "Covfefe."
    Check
    ...and "WashingtonPostAmazon."
    Check
    If they ate steak with ketchup.
    Check
    And their "diet" consisted of drinking Diet Coke with their "taco bowl."
    Check
    If they spent all of their weekends, every weekend, golfing.
    Check
    If they started a subscription box of fan merchandise for themselves.
    Check
    If they didn't believe in climate change.
    Check
    And, like, refused to sign the Paris accord.
    Check
    If they believed that exercise was a bad idea because it "depleted the body of energy."
    Check
    If they walked around the house in a robe and then claimed they didn't own a robe.
    Check
    If they wouldn't shut up about building a goddamn wall next door but then somehow thought the next-door neighbor would pay for it.
    Check
    If they filed for bankruptcy and borrowed money from their dad but STILL claimed to be self-made.
    Check
    If they thought Aleppo was in Iran.
    Check
    If they weren't sure why the Civil War happened.
    Check
    If they thought Martin Luther King Jr. was still alive.
    Check
    And also thought Frederick Douglass was still alive.
    Check
    If they blabbed all your secrets to your enemies.
    Check
    If they talked about whether or not they'd date their own damn daughter.
    Check
    If they kept asking to see your birth certificate.
    Check
    If one of their best friends was Alex Jones.
    Check
    And one of their OTHER best friends was Steve Bannon.
    Check
    Oh, and they've got one black friend — Ben Carson.
    Check
    If they hated "fake news" but also thought it was totally acceptable to decorate with fake magazine covers of themselves.
    Check
    If they taped the back of their ties together with Scotch tape.
    Check
    If they thought it was totally OK to comment endlessly on the appearance of women.
    Check
    And then also "grab them by the pussy" whenever they felt like it.
    Check
    If they'd been accused of multiple sexual assaults.
    Check
    And been embroiled in multiple lawsuits.
    Check
    If they were afraid of stairs.
    Check
    If they assumed all black people lived in "inner cities."
    Check
    If they basically had no regard for anybody.
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