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Which Of These Things Are Dating Deal Breakers For You?

Let's discuss.

  1. Check all that apply. Would you break up with your significant other:
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    If they LOVED TWITTER.
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    If they LOVED TWITTER and spent more time on Twitter than with you.
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    If they wrote incomprehensible tweets on Twitter all the time.
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    If they woke up early — like at 5am — just to tweet.
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    ...like just to tweet out things like "Covfefe."
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    ...and "WashingtonPostAmazon."
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    If they ate steak with ketchup.
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    And their "diet" consisted of drinking Diet Coke with their "taco bowl."
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    If they spent all of their weekends, every weekend, golfing.
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    If they started a subscription box of fan merchandise for themselves.
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    If they didn't believe in climate change.
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    And, like, refused to sign the Paris accord.
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    If they believed that exercise was a bad idea because it "depleted the body of energy."
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    If they walked around the house in a robe and then claimed they didn't own a robe.
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    If they wouldn't shut up about building a goddamn wall next door but then somehow thought the next-door neighbor would pay for it.
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    If they filed for bankruptcy and borrowed money from their dad but STILL claimed to be self-made.
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    If they thought Aleppo was in Iran.
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    If they weren't sure why the Civil War happened.
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    If they thought Martin Luther King Jr. was still alive.
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    And also thought Frederick Douglass was still alive.
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    If they blabbed all your secrets to your enemies.
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    If they talked about whether or not they'd date their own damn daughter.
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    If they kept asking to see your birth certificate.
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    If one of their best friends was Alex Jones.
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    And one of their OTHER best friends was Steve Bannon.
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    Oh, and they've got one black friend — Ben Carson.
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    If they hated "fake news" but also thought it was totally acceptable to decorate with fake magazine covers of themselves.
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    If they taped the back of their ties together with Scotch tape.
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    If they thought it was totally OK to comment endlessly on the appearance of women.
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    And then also "grab them by the pussy" whenever they felt like it.
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    If they'd been accused of multiple sexual assaults.
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    And been embroiled in multiple lawsuits.
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    If they were afraid of stairs.
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    If they assumed all black people lived in "inner cities."
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    If they basically had no regard for anybody.
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