16 Things Gwyneth Paltrow Thinks You Should Buy For Christmas

    Feel the Goop, be the Goop.

    It's the holiday season, and Gwyneth Paltrow has #consciouslyuncoupled from reality to create yet another deliciously crazy GOOP shopping guide.

    Would you like to see what she's come up with?

    1. This earthquake prep bag, $345

    This bag contains: "luxury comforts, tech gear, and first-aid essentials— you will find amazing products from Malin+Goetz, Pro Bar Organic Rations, TCHO Chocolate, Kusmi Tea, and Marvis just to name a few! There is even a solar powered USB phone charger!" Okay.

    2. Saint Laurent Emmanuelle Bucket Bag, $1,350

    Gwyneth sez: "The prettiest cobalt blue, in the crispest shape."

    3. How about this SUPER ANGEL JUICER, $4,739.

    4. Anita Ko Single Safety Pin Earring, $1,995

    One earring for $2,000. Gwyneth sez: "The single earring works perfectly with a single stud in the opposite ear."

    5. Balenciaga Leather Jacket, $2,745

    6. Vicente Sahuc Bandanas, Hermès, $195-$850

    These are literally made for sweating. Gwyneth sez: "Achingly cool."

    7. Valentino Punkcouture Cage Flats, $995

    Punk rock ballet shoes. Gwyneth sez: "A fresh spin on a now-classic design."

    8. Cartier Juste un Clou Bracelet, $7,600

    9. Esque Diamond Thickie Vase, $12,000

    10. Maersk Line Triple-E Lego Set, $150

    11. Mackage Lorde Kid's Coat, $450

    A children's coat for $450. Sure. Gwyneth sez: "A so-cute-it-hurts parka."

    12. Golden Goose Slide Sneaker, $575

    13. Charlotte Olympia Kinky Clutch, $1,295

    14. Old Time Slingshot, $28

    15. Aspinal of London Travel Backgammon Set, $550

    16. And, of course Angel Therapy Meditations, $9.33

    YOU'RE WELCOME.