1. Teenager, Someone Does Care!
According to the cover, problems facing teens include, hypodermic needles, wine glasses, and scourge of combination locks.
2. I Gave Dating A Chance
3. Bear Attacks
I don’t even need to read this book to know the causes of bear attacks: BEARS.
Is Tony from the wrong side of the tracks? YOU BET.
5. Living Successfully In The ’90s
6. Get Out Of My Life
Teens. Teens. TEENS!
7. The Art of Cooking With Love and Wheat Germ
I don’t know, usually cooking with love means expressly not cooking with wheat germ.
8. Keep Calm You’re Only 40
Don’t start freaking out ‘til 45 or 50, max .
9. Feet Dipped In Oil
Not a recommended snack.
11. You Can Sell Anything By Telephone!
Author Gary S. Goodman is very shy.
12. The Bait of Satan
Basically Satan’s got it out for you, okay?
13. Listen To Me, Satan
You could try arguing with him, I guess.
14. How To Defeat Demons
But really you should just figure out a fighting method, instead.
15. Deer Hunting With Dalrymple
16. The Truth About Herpes
Herpes is a disease carried by wispy pastel ghosts.
17. How Not To Date A Loser
Losers wear plaid shirts, cross their arms, and insist on faux hawks, still.
18. Backstreet Boys
Right, Backstreet Boys?
19. If I Can, Y-Y-You Can!
Neal Jeffrey is working on his stutter and also helping you improve your life.
Beagles, now with more beagles.
- ISIS has claimed responsibility for a bombing that killed at least 80 people in Afghanistan Saturday.
- Hillary Clinton made her debut with VP pick Tim Kaine, who dipped into Spanish and spoke on support for immigration reform and gun control.
- The gunman who killed at least 10 people at a Munich, Germany mall was an 18-year-old "obsessed" with mass shootings, police said.