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    Updated on Feb 2, 2019. Posted on Feb 18, 2018

    19 Of The Fucking Funniest Tweets By Women This Week

    "Sometimes I wish that I had one big consecutive tooth so I wouldn't have to floss."

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    HE MONCH BUTT - renaissance painting, 1602

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    Jacob, the teen running the world simulation program, is really getting on my last nerve today.

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    extremely fucked up that my brain made me sit through a pink floyd song in a dream this morning.

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    my boyfriend and i colour-coordinated our outfits today 💙

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    sometimes I wish that I just had one big consecutive tooth so I wouldn’t have to floss

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    Is your child texting about Tracy Chapman’s “Fast Car”? ygafc = you’ve got a fast car igaptguooh = I’ve got a plan… https://t.co/jl624iejNy

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    so timmy chalamet gets an oscar nom for crying alone to sufjan stevens but when i do it its ‘disconcerting’ and i s… https://t.co/NbIyIB86hl

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    I think your 20s are spent worried that you aren’t hot enough, and your 30s are spent figuring how you can get back… https://t.co/rmAZsS5Tkl

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    people think you can only find a small plastic baby in your cake during mardi gras, but if you open your eyes you w… https://t.co/GgorScQUxb

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    explained the figure skating dot scoring system to several men at the club tonight and not only did they understand… https://t.co/JkV3d6z8si

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    Speed skaters and lugers don’t get enough credit for agreeing to appear on TV dressed as a human condom

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    how annoying life must be for all the women named Alexa right now

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