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19 Of The Fucking Funniest Tweets By Women This Week

"Sometimes I wish that I had one big consecutive tooth so I wouldn't have to floss."

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1.

HE MONCH BUTT - renaissance painting, 1602

3.

Jacob, the teen running the world simulation program, is really getting on my last nerve today.

4.

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5.

extremely fucked up that my brain made me sit through a pink floyd song in a dream this morning.

6.

my boyfriend and i colour-coordinated our outfits today 💙

8.

sometimes I wish that I just had one big consecutive tooth so I wouldn’t have to floss

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11.

Is your child texting about Tracy Chapman’s “Fast Car”? ygafc = you’ve got a fast car igaptguooh = I’ve got a plan… https://t.co/jl624iejNy

12.

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13.

so timmy chalamet gets an oscar nom for crying alone to sufjan stevens but when i do it its ‘disconcerting’ and i s… https://t.co/NbIyIB86hl

15.

I think your 20s are spent worried that you aren’t hot enough, and your 30s are spent figuring how you can get back… https://t.co/rmAZsS5Tkl

16.

people think you can only find a small plastic baby in your cake during mardi gras, but if you open your eyes you w… https://t.co/GgorScQUxb

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17.

explained the figure skating dot scoring system to several men at the club tonight and not only did they understand… https://t.co/JkV3d6z8si

18.

Speed skaters and lugers don’t get enough credit for agreeing to appear on TV dressed as a human condom

19.

how annoying life must be for all the women named Alexa right now