19 Of The Fucking Funniest Tweets By Women This Week
"Sometimes I wish that I had one big consecutive tooth so I wouldn't have to floss."
1.
HE MONCH BUTT - renaissance painting, 1602
3.
Jacob, the teen running the world simulation program, is really getting on my last nerve today.
4.
Three types of people in this world.
5.
extremely fucked up that my brain made me sit through a pink floyd song in a dream this morning.
6.
my boyfriend and i colour-coordinated our outfits today 💙
8.
sometimes I wish that I just had one big consecutive tooth so I wouldn’t have to floss
11.
Is your child texting about Tracy Chapman’s “Fast Car”? ygafc = you’ve got a fast car igaptguooh = I’ve got a plan… https://t.co/jl624iejNy
12.
just kiss already
13.
so timmy chalamet gets an oscar nom for crying alone to sufjan stevens but when i do it its ‘disconcerting’ and i s… https://t.co/NbIyIB86hl
15.
I think your 20s are spent worried that you aren’t hot enough, and your 30s are spent figuring how you can get back… https://t.co/rmAZsS5Tkl
16.
people think you can only find a small plastic baby in your cake during mardi gras, but if you open your eyes you w… https://t.co/GgorScQUxb
17.
explained the figure skating dot scoring system to several men at the club tonight and not only did they understand… https://t.co/JkV3d6z8si
18.
Speed skaters and lugers don’t get enough credit for agreeing to appear on TV dressed as a human condom
19.
how annoying life must be for all the women named Alexa right now