Julie
 
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    • Julie

      I don’t WANT to be scared to make a phone call. I don’t WANT to be scared to ask for help finding things in a store. I don’t want to be afraid of having a conversation with someone i don’t know. I don’t like being so scared to interact with other people that i have trouble breathing or thinking clearly, having that feeling in the pit of my stomach that makes me physically feel nauseous. I don’t WANT to be in tears because i’m 33 and can’t deal with normal every day interactions like an adult should be able to. I don’t WANT to spend so much time trying to reason with myself that it affects my short term memory, my mood, my physical health. I don’t ask anyone to baby me, but it would be nice if my friends and family would at least try to not make it worse if i tell them something triggers it. I don’t think that’s asking too much of people who claim to care about me.

    • Julie

      it’s really unfair that trying to help someone who has a mental illness is viewed as being coddled, when if we had a physical illness people whould go out of their way to try to make us feel better. the double standards for mental health are ridiculous. we don’t want to be “coddled”, we just don’t want to feel awful all day every day. if people who care about can help us to feel better, then why should we be looked down on for that? You’re manic bipolar, so let’s say you have an episode, do you want your loved ones to freak out and call the cops because you’re manic and possibly scaring them? or perhaps automatically have you admitted to a psych ward is you have a depressive episode? or would you want your loved ones to be patient and help you through it without ruining your life because of your mental illness? There is NO black and white with mental illness, regardless of the situation or condition, there is no reason why we as fellow human beings can’t help each other.

    • Julie

      Ok let me start off with this - I have severe anxiety and depression. You cannot just tell someone to suck it up, stop having a pity party, or to grow up and deal with it. Mental illness does NOT work that way. I spend about 90% of my waking hours arguing with myself. For instance, I constantly think people don’t want me around/don’t like me. Here’s how it works. Someone doesn’t laugh at a joke i make, someone talks over me and ignores what i am trying to say, someone doesn’t include me in what they’re doing - automatically i feel like i’m not wanted or liked. Now, I KNOW this is ridiculous, they may be distracted, tired, or in a hurry. Logical me knows this. Anxiety tells me otherwise so while i am busy feeling sad over something that I KNOW isn’t real, my depression tells me it doesn’t matter and no one cares even if i were to say something, or try to get that persons attention, etc. Keep in mind that this can happen in a matter of seconds, or less than what it took me to type this out. Another example… when i was a child i got abused for simply eating food without permission. Adult me - eats something that’s not mine in the fridge. Person whom it belonged to sends me a text asking me if i ate it. Anxiety kicks in automatically - “omg they’re gonna be so mad at me, is my rommate gonna kick me out, what do i do, how do i respond, do i not say anything at all, do i lie???!!! Physically now my chest has tightned up, i’m so scared i can’t breathe, my mind is racing, face is flushed and i am completely freaking out. Logically i know i am an adult and all i have to do is simply say yes and if needed replace the food. Logic is people without anxiety. Logic is what we wish could be whenever something that triggers our anxiety happens. Logic is what we wish a miracle drug would make us so we don’t have to feel like this. We didn’t ask for it. We don’t want it. We do try to control it. It has nothing to do with maturity. It IS an illness. If we had cancer or MS, would you tell us to suck it up and deal with it? Don’t judge us based on what you don’t understand.

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