All hail the almighty Newie.
Praise be, for our lord and saviour summer is here to deliver us from the year's most disappointing season.
Get your multiple fake email addresses ready.
Long live our long-haired, chaotic king.
It's like my life-long crush has finally, finally acknowledged my existence.
Who needs a ~spooky season~ when your nation's fauna could kill you at any given moment?
Cradle me tenderly in your mighty oak arms, Adam.
Nothing bonds people like shared trauma.
FYI: The first drop sold out in just 48 hours and had a waitlist of 50,000 people strong. 😳😳😳
Pls God, help me escape the Bondi bubble this summer.
Erster Schritt: Hör auf, ständig deine Pflanzen absaufen zu lassen.
Toss all ya beanies in the bottom drawer — the time of the wide brim hat has returned.
Because you now have ageing concerns AND adult acne to contend with.
Mum, forgive me for being an ungrateful slug at dinnertime. I know better now.
Because if I spend another $100 on a plant that dies, I will torch my local nursery.
Sometimes a gal's gotta venture further afield than her local Kmart.
Mysterious love is overrated — give me brutal honesty any day of the week.
Shoutout to my fellow Sydney-siders for putting up with Australia's shittiest property market.
"I'll be feeling ~randy~ at approximately 6 p.m. this evening — how's your diary looking?"