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    Updated on 12 Nov 2019. Posted on 12 Nov 2019

    13 Reasons Why Springtime In Australia Is So Much Worse Than Summer

    Praise be, for our lord and saviour summer is here to deliver us from the year's most disappointing season.

    1. Because it's the windiest season of the year and wind ruins absolutely everything.



    Mother Nature: Ohh, you think just because it's 32 degrees you can finally go back to the beach again? Well, I sure hope you enjoy being repeatedly whipped in the face with sand, you pathetic slug.

    2. Because you have to endure the rebirth of Satan's mightiest creature: The common house fly.


    That's a nice picnic you got there. Be a real shame if someone...laid their eggs inside your brie.

    3. Not to mention the sudden, terrifying reappearance of hundreds of cockroaches.

    Paramount Pictures

    And yes, before you @ me with "uM, tHeRe ArE WaY MoRe CoCkRoAcHeS iN sUmMeR tHaN sPriNG" — I hear you. But there's something about their sudden reemergence after the stillness of winter that really sets my nerves on edge.

    4. Because you have to coast your car at 10km/h through teeming crowds of would-be ~influencers~ on jacaranda-lined streets.

    Sydney, this is exactly why we can't have nice things. Time for summer to burn away all your lavender dreams.

    5. Because every single gym suddenly becomes overrun with people furiously working on their summer buns.

    Delphi III

    Which immediately calms down come December 1, when everyone realises they'd much rather spend their weekends on the beach.

    See you all again on New Year's Day.

    6. Because you have to put up with piles of junk strewn around the streets, all in the name of spring cleaning.

    Annual #CouncilCleanup. I empty garden sheds to make neat kerbside pile. Teenage son says he's off with mum to check other piles for treasures. Noooòoo! 😠 #nomorejunk

    Like a pack of wild possums, there's nothing Aussies love more than scrounging through their neighbour's worthless, kerb-side possessions.

    7. Because, no matter where you hide, hay fever will find you and punch you in the face.


    Good luck with that cute, botanical garden stroll you had in mind.

    8. Because two words: Magpie season.

    Amber Wheatland

    You ever wondered why Australians don't celebrate Halloween? Because we know what true horror feels like.

    9. Because the weather is ludicrously indecisive and there's no telling whether you'll have to battle a bitter cold front or Sahara-level heat.


    Give me summer's enduring and unforgiving sizzle any day of the week.

    10. Because, at the first sign of a 20+ degree day, outdoor spaces are suddenly infested with thousands of pale, sun-hungry bodies.

    Euro News

    And you better believe my pallid, chronically-dehydrated body is at the front of the queue.

    11. But the water temperatures are still living their best ~winter life~ which means you struggle to enter past your knees.


    Not a problem for you Queenslanders, but the rest of us schmucks can't comfortably enter the sea until January.

    12. Because you spend the whole damn season counting down the days 'til summer anyway.


    Me: Spends three solid months fantasising about all the incredible things I can do over summer.

    Also me: Spends all of summer binge-watching Netflix and complaining about the heat.

    13. And finally, because at long last, you can unleash your aggressive and all-consuming love of Christmas without fear of judgement.

    Warner Bros.

    Siri, shuffle play Michael Bublé's Christmas album on repeat.

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