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    23 Jul 2019

    We Need To Discuss Why Max From "The Saddle Club" Was The Sexual Awakening Of A Generation

    Take a seat, take your bra off and take a look at the pure sexual dynamo that was Max 'The Stallion' Regnery.

    If you grew up in Australia in the noughties, chances are you're familiar with The Saddle Club's true prized stallion — owner and trainer of Pine Hollow Stables, Max Regnery.

    BuzzFeed / Getty Images

    An artist's rendition of what The Saddle Club could have looked like, if not for the PG rating.

    I, for one, quickly fell under Max's spell. He and I shared an appreciation of horses, the great outdoors and meddlesome pre-teen girls.

    BuzzFeed / ABC

    In retrospect, we also vaguely look like siblings, which is something I need to unpack in my own time.

    Seriously, who could deny Max's raw sexual presence?

    ABC

    Tongue me tenderly, horse man.

    Even when things weren't going his way, he oozed serious BDE.

    ABC

    Oh Max, tell me your troubles while I feed you apples from the palm of my hand.

    And yes, it's true, on paper there was another woman in Max's life.

    ABC

    Deborah Hales? More like Deborah Fails-To-Get-My-Blood-Pumping.

    But you always suspected that Max yearned for something a lil' more spicy than ol' vanilla Deb.

    ABC TV

    Yeah, lick those fingers clean, you filthy animal.

    I truly believe that Max was responsible for the burgeoning sexuality of Aussie millennials.

    ABC TV

    Pine Hollows' #1 stud.

    Now, The Saddle Club's PG rating was severely limiting when it came to harnessing Max's full potential. But just imagine the ~saucier~ scenarios we could find him in if we rebooted the series on HBO...

    ABC / Station 19

    Ridin' bareback 😏

    You can just picture him coming home and cleaning up after a rough day's riding.

    ABC / Mistresses

    I didn't even have to crudely photoshop this one. IT EXISTS.

    Or relaxing with some classic erotica after a long week on the ranch.

    ABC / Station 19

    No better way to unwind...

    And now that Brett Tucker has been (spoiler alert!) killed off Station 19, there's never been a better time to revive Max Regnery. This time with less horses and more partial nudity.

    ABC / Mistresses

    I'm not saying that this needs to happen, but it 100% needs to happen.

    In short, this thirsty AF gal just wants a little more Max in her life.

    ABC

    Thank you, Max, for teaching me the meaning of lust.

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