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    24 Jun 2020

    19 Classic Childhood Comebacks Ranked According To Their Savageness

    Burn, baby, burn.

    19. "Sticks and stones may break my bones, but words will never hurt me."

    CBS

    Nice and lyrical, but also wildly inaccurate. Broken bones heal fast. Getting saddled with a nickname like 'Booga-Eater Brendan' can last for over a decade.

    18. "Nuh-uh" x 10,000.

    HBO

    Lazy, repetitive, but effective when delivered at speed.

    17. "On your bike, Mike."

    MTV

    Ineffective unless your opponent is actually named Michael. But points for rhyme.

    16. "Deal with it."

    CBC

    All down to the delivery. It's a careful balancing act of vocal sass, arched brows, and a finishing pause.

    15. "Whoever smelt it dealt it."

    MTV

    Fart blame. A classic. Timeless.

    14. "Whoever said the rhyme did the crime."

    CBS

    The ploy of taking the accuser and making them the accused? INSPIRED. But it loses points for the sheer stupidity of also being a rhyme.

    13. "Read between the lines."

    Paramount Films

    For when you couldn't yet muster the courage to let your middle finger stand on its own. *Chef's kiss*.

    12. "I know you are, you said you are, but what am I?"

    Showtime

    Intensely maddening to your opponent when repeated several times in singsong tune.

    11. "Losers, lovers, as if, whatever with a twist. See my palms, see my fists, bye bye, kiss this."

    Paramount Pictures

    An intricately choreographed routine, but if you put one toe out of line, it would all come crumbling down around you.

    10. "Takes one to know one."

    JAX Media

    The beginning of millennials' love of self-deprecation. It acknowledges your failings, while also flinging shit back on your accuser.

    9. "What-eveeer."

    Paramount Pictures

    The perfect antidote for when you're losing your footing in the debate and have run out of intelligent responses.

    8. "No shit, Sherlock."

    VH1

    Both a blow to your foe and a PSA to your classmates that you've advanced to classic literature.

    7. "I am rubber, you are glue, whatever you say bounces off of me and sticks to you."

    Adult Swim

    How to take on a bully with poetic justice.

    6. "Your breath..."

    FOX

    The power is in what's left unsaid.

    5. "Bite me."

    WB

    Thiccc with sexual tension. Perfect for your schoolyard crush.

    4. "A bitch is a female dog. Dogs bark, bark grows on trees, trees are a part of nature, and nature is beautiful."

    VH1

    Turning an insult into a compliment 101.

    3. "Ya mum."

    CBS

    Classic. Works in every context. Eternally vague and always thrilling.

    2. "Talk to the hand, 'cause the face ain't listening."

    CBS

    She had a short shelf life, but god was she a beauty.

    1. "Say it, don't spray it. I want the news, not the weather."

    FOX

    The ultimate blow of humiliation. Spittle in the face. Effective even if your foe never spits — their cries to the contrary will be drowned out in the jeers of your classmates.

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