We Ranked Aussie After-School TV Shows From The '00s, From Terrible To Goddamn Iconic

Grab a handful of Jatz and a Sunnyboy and settle in for a trip down memory lane.

18. Cybergirl

Network 10

From the makers of '90s-classic Ocean Girl, this inferior follow-up documented the adventures of a "Human Prototype 6000" from a distant planet. She was blue, it was dull and it's not really worth remembering more than that.

17. Farscape

Nine Network

This show was seriously cooked and somehow ran for four seasons? The plot was so convoluted I can't even be bothered to break it down further for you, but just think of it as a poor man's Battlestar Galactica.

16. Australia's Next Top Model

Fox8

Honestly, this show was a mess from start to finish. Contestants were almost all young teens, there were multiple allegations of serious bullying on-set and there was next to no diversity. Was it still an entertaining trash fire? Absolutely. Who could forget the infamous wrong-winner-announcement of '10. But It's not the kind of show you want to see on your screens in 2020.

15. Silversun

ABC

To be frank, the fact that I can only find these exceptionally pixelated images of this show should tell you everything you need to know — forgettable AF.

14. Australian Princess

Network 10

Inspired by the ~real life fairy tale~ of Mary Donaldson's wedding to Denmark's Prince Frederik, this insane reality show saw 12 young Aussie wannabe-princesses travel to England in order to be taught the ways of royalty. Hosted by Jackie O. Because of course she would.

13. Parallax

Nine Network

Parallax walked so Stranger Things could run. Albeit, with far shittier CGI and some very questionable plots (an entire parallel universe exists with only hippies and Volkswagen Kombis? No thanks).

12. The Mole

Seven Network

Before Big Brother and Australian Idol, there was The Mole — and let me tell you, this shit was a big deal. It ran for six glorious seasons in the '00s and led the way for Aussie reality TV to follow.

11. Active Kidz

ABC

Your OG F45 workout. These hosts would have you sweating balls after 25 minutes and you'd be so damn proud of your ~activated~ little body.

10. Popstars

Seven Network

An epic struggle for fame-hungry wannabes competing to win the illustrious position at the top of the pops (RIP Scandal'Us)! This show had it all — awful live performances, backstage back-stabbing and the one and only Sophie Monk. 2001 was a wild year.

9. Noah & Saskia

ABC

Internet friendships may be commonplace in 2020, but in 2004 Noah & Saskia were seriously leading that charge. And honestly, this show probably groomed us all into the web-obsessed generation we are today. So for that, we say thank you.

8. Mortified

Nine Network

Who didn't relate to the imaginative life of Taylor Fry and her eternally embarrassing family? This was good, clean, family programming done absolutely right.

7. Cheez TV

Network 10

I know I'm cheating here, because it was technically a morning show, but honestly, how can anyone look back on Aussie TV from the '00s and ignore this dynamic duo? Perfection. 😚👌

6. The Sleepover Club

Nine Network

Ryan Corr, Caitlin Stasey and The 100's Eliza Taylor? This show was a TREASURE TROVE of Aussie talent.

5. Dance Academy

Werner Film Productions

WHAT 🙌 AN 🙌 EPIC 🙌 SHOW. Dance Academy had it all: Romance, drama, TikTok-worthy choreography and one of the most soul-crushing death scenes on Australian TV. RIP Sammy, you live on in our hearts.

4. Kath & Kim

ABC

You felt so adult and refined in your comedic palate when you started watching Kath & Kim — and let's face it, this is probably still up there with your favourite Aussie shows of all time.

3. Blue Water High

ABC

The surfing-inspo and sexual awakening of a generation. The power of this show won't soon be forgotten.

2. The Saddle Club

ABC

Talented, brilliant, incredible, amazing, show-stopping, spectacular, never the same, totally unique, completely not ever been done before, unafraid to reference or not reference, put it in a blender, shit on it, vomit on it, eat it, give birth to it.

1. And finally, H2O: Just Add Water

Network 10

I'm still campaigning for this show to make a comeback. It was just SO 👏 DAMN 👏 GOOD. I mean, what little girl (or merman-entranced boy) didn't practice swimming with their legs tightly clasped together in the pool? Don't lie to yourself, the desire for a tail was real.

The whole series is now streaming on Netflix, so you can binge-watch the glory again in lockdown.