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    Someone Please Buy Me This Caffeinated Bracelet Immediately

    All the efficiency of coffee in an IV, without any of the bulky tubes and poles.

    Coffee's great. But sometimes normal human caffeine absorption just doesn't cut it.

    Know what's more efficient? Taking caffeine through your skin and directly to your bloodstream. That's what Joule, the first ever caffeinated bracelet, promises.

    Because it releases caffeine gradually, you're less likely to turn into a jittery energy monster, according to the creators.

    The bracelet and 30 caffeine patches costs $29 (about $1 per patch), and it will start shipping in July.

    I am ready for this dark, caffeinated, dystopian world.