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22 Things That Happen When You Don't Drink Beer

You can keep your frothy wheat bile.

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1. You get a lot of condescending advice like, "Oh, you should try a light beer!"

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2. Or, "You just haven't found the right one yet."

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3. Not to mention the bullshit sexist connotations of not liking beer.

4. If you're a woman, you're stereotyped as capital-C "Not Chill."

I’M BASICALLY JUST PRETTY CHILL, she screamed into the void

5. Whereas if you're a dude who doesn't like beer, people hate on your "girly" drinks.

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6. You roll up to the company happy hour, and your boss hands you a cold one. You want to say:

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7. But you don't want to be rude, so you take a small sip and try not to grimace.

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8. Even casual nights in with friends can be rough.

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Everyone's knocking back beers...

9. But who cares? You remembered your trusty bottle of red. / Via

10. You keep pace all night...and of course, end up wasted.

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Because wine is like, three times more alcoholic than beer. Whoops.

11. No one wants to be your beer pong partner if you won't help drink the cups.

12. And keg stands are a definite no. / Via

13. But when you're playing Slap the Bag, no bag is safe. / Via

14. You might overcompensate by taking shots like a champ.

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Oh, you want a chaser? That's cute.

15. Or learning everything there is to know about wine.

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Or, you know, saying some crap about tannins.

16. And you know that hard cider is just alcoholic apple juice, and therefore delicious.

17. You know you can be a picky drinker.

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18. But so what? Your vodka soda is nobody's business but yours.

19. No matter how many cherries are in your cup...

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20. ...or how brightly colored your cocktail is....

21. know the truth about beer.

22. And you can get drunk without it juuust fine.

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