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24 Hilarious Tweets That Perfectly Capture Your Existential Despair

You'll literally die. We all will.

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1.

Me: I just love when girls are like, "I'm literally dying." As if we're not all fucking slowly dying. Barista: ...ok so did u want coffee

2.

seems like just yesterday i was in kindergarten, now im at college. soon ill be dead :)

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3.

your password must contain at least one lie society told you and one dream you gave up for the financial means to survive

4.

[looking up at the stars] me: makes you feel so insignificant, doesn't it? dad: it should, you haven't done shit with your life

5.

It's a cruel irony that, in death, you cannot appreciate the absence of pain you endured in life. Can I get you started with some appetizers

6.

Hi, I'd like to buy this abstract, post modernist, surrealist painting of this angst ridden, haunted looking man. That, sir, is a mirror.

7.

The sun sets in four hours and everyone you love will be dead in a 120 years.

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8.

Netflix Suggestions For You Because You Watched: Your Life Slip Away You Might Also Enjoy: Just Giving Up Completely

9.

Shoot for the moon, even if you miss you’ve participated in the random meaninglessness of the universe

10.

"We are all stardust." Neil deGrasse Tyson points at me. "Except you." Startled, I drop my beer can, it rolls to the front of the auditorium

11.

What if Jabba the Hutt was literally a hut. What if he were a little wooden building. Why do I long for death

12.

I scream, you scream, we all scream because we're all hurtling into the void.

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13.

fellas i like to sit on my hand so it goes numb then it feel like someone else is wiping my tears away

14.

waiter, there's a reflection of a sad and lonely man in my soup

15.

aesop: you should be like the ant, he works every day me: what does the grasshopper do aesop: he just chills until he dies me: i want that

16.

[trying to sleep] Me: ok, just breathe and relax. Brain: OR WE COULD TRY AND FIGURE OUT THE EXACT MOMENT ALL YOUR HOPES AND DREAMS DIED

17.

This tear-free shampoo works great, but I still really miss my dead parents.

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18.

"THIS IS THE POLICE. WE HAVE YOU SURROUNDED. ARE U ALONE?" -YEAH, I GUESS I NEVER MET THE RIGHT GIRL, BAD TIMING MOSTLY. ALSO WORK IS HECTIC

19.

if your grave doesnt say "rest in peace" on it you are automatically drafted into the skeleton war

20.

sorry I can't stay I have to go home and eat bread in the dark

21.

The thing I like best about smartphones is how they're a prison you keep in your pocket

22.

Hate when you wake up & think it's the weekend but then realise death is inevitable eternal emptiness

23.

im so sorry im late, the traffic was horrendous [cut to me crying and eating 26 mcnuggets in a parked car]

24.

hey kids, i know youre struggling right now but im here to tell you, everything gets worse forever

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