1. Make your cheap-ass Forever 21 frat shoes comfy enough to wear with just a hairdryer and a pair of thick socks.
2. And waterproof them to guard against whatever that gross layer of party floor liquid is.
3. Swipe on some nude eyeliner to make your eyes look less all-nighter-y and/or hungover.
4. Repurpose one of your thousands of random promotional T-shirts into a gym tank.
5. Roll your sleeves J.Crew-style to look instantly put together for your internship.
6. Learn how to dye tights with Kool-Aid for the easiest theme party costumes ever.
7. Save this list of student discounts to your camera roll.
8. Think your mascara is done? It's not. Just loosen it up with some hot water.
9. Air-dry your clothes faster by running them through a salad spinner.
10. Know how to get a red wine stain out of your favorite shirt.
11. There's a ton of drugstore makeup dupes that are just as good as the $$$$ stuff, y'all.
12. You don't need a steamer or an iron. Just hang wrinkled clothing in the bathroom while you're showering.
13. And if there are still some little creases, a straightener should do the trick.
14. Turn a long white tank into a fancy wrapped crop top.
15. Spritz hand-washables with cheap vodka between wears to eliminate odors.
It won't remove any stains, but it'll at least make them smell a lot better.
(Also, don't use any of that flavored crap, obviously. Your pink lemonade Burnett's is bad and you should feel bad.)