A man who just ate a bag of golfballs and is now telling his wifeAn "astronaut" who hasn't left his cardboard rocket in 37 years and his wife just wants him to touch her sometimesAn alien who feeds off of women's garlic breath after five-course Italian dinners
From "The Astronaut's Wife".
A famous movie director who was known for filming still glasses of water and nothing elseA bankrupt and desperate man who collects those little Barbie shoes and tries to use them as currencyJust a man, who loves a woman, and is telling her, very very very loudly, in a stranger's bathroom
From "Ed Wood".
A man who invented paffles, a fusion of pancakes and waffles, only to be sent to an insane asylum because the world isn't ready for his geniusAn eccentric mayor who likes to brighten up retirement homes with a daily 5am song and dance routineA pickup artist
From "Benny & Joon".
A barbershop quartet tenor who just discovered the raw sound of acapella choirA bad boy who cries only when he eats a perfectly moist cakeA model trying out adhesive tears for a runway event - an event that symbolizes his own diminishing emotions as he slowly gets sucked into the oftentimes brutal world of fashion
A man who is fed up with visors and yearns to live in a world without such terrible headwear failuresA guy who is known around five counties for having the best hair and must now sell it to a girl who is sick of her own pixie cut in order to save his familyAn obsessive town fair goer who traps everyone into long conversations about "how the heck they make cotton candy"
From "What's Eating Gilbert Grape?"
A children's cartoon protagonist who teaches kids about the dangers of not filing your taxes on timeA doll who has come to life and whispers the lyrics to "Alone" by Heart in your ear while you sleep every nightThat is not Johnny Depp! That's a wax figurine, you infantile dingus!
From "The Corpse Bride."
A loner who picks up hitchhikers, drives them ALMOST to their desired location, then leaves them in an Arby's as a prankA man whose lower half is part-car, and he thus lives a tortured and confusing existence, worsened only by rising gas pricesYour father, on his way to pick you up from a party where there's underage blood drinking happening - you're in trouble now!
From "Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas."
Robert Smith from The Cure when he briefly left the band and tried to reinvent himself with robot handsA suburban cult leader who screeches "I rust, no liquid!" every time a sweet housewife offers him lemonadeA regular high school kid just trying to fit in and ask the most popular girl out to prom
From "Edward Scissorhands."
Captain Jake BluebirdAn exiled Rolling Stones member who is now speaking out to the publicA pickup artist
From "Pirates of the Caribbean: Curse of the Black Pearl."