5 Thoughts I Had When Trying Out A Female-Empowering Dating App

Bumble, created by ex-Tinder co-founder Whitney Wolfe, is a new dating app that lets only women make the first move. I decided to test it out.

Bumble, an app launched in December, uses the same swipe technology as Tinder, except for one big difference: After a match, only the woman can make the first move.

Bumble

"Every modern woman has experienced either firsthand or been out with a friend bearing a desire to talk to 'that cute guy across the room,' but generally doesn't feel comfortable enough to approach him first due to the tacit 'rules' of society," app creator and former Tinder co-founder Whitney Wolfe told BuzzFeed.

"Bumble sets the stage for the woman to make the first move, and in turn, show some moxie, which creates a more assured connection on both ends. The man, because he simply does not have to feel the pressure to 'pick someone up,' feels flattered."

After a match is made, the woman has 24 hours to send a message before it expires and the guy is gone.

Bumble

"When a woman starts a conversation, there is a sense of appreciation and thrill involved for the man that leads to a really great way for them to play off whatever she says," Wolfe told BuzzFeed. "The woman essentially steers the path of the conversation, making the man less nervous about saying the right thing, being too forward, or not forward enough."

And as for LGBT matches, the playing field is even, meaning that either person can make the first move but the 24-hour rule still stands.

Intrigued, I decided to try it out. Here are the thoughts I had:

1. "Woah, everyone has their Facebook work and education info on here!"

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When I first saw this, I admittedly freaked out a little. I've used OkCupid before and had some frightful moments when guys would message me saying they "recognized" me from BuzzFeed or NYU (i.e. they totally just Google Image reverse-searched my photos because I mentioned none of those things in my profile.)

According to Wolfe, "The choice to include both work and education is to add a bit more context to who each person is. It is almost a sure bet that one of the first questions you will have for a potential match will be, 'What do you do?' and 'Where did you go to school?'. The answers to these two questions add so much depth to understanding if you would be a good match with someone."

Yes, it made me a little nervous to display my work and education info on there, but if everyone else was doing it, it only seemed fair.

2. "In general, the guys on here are a lot more normal-looking than on Tinder."

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I have a habit of downloading Tinder, using it for a day when I'm stuck on Candy Crush and need something to do with my thumbs while I catch up on The Mindy Project, and then, after a couple of gross messages, I feel disillusioned and delete the app. I've never successfully talked to anyone on Tinder outside of trolling them.

On Bumble though, the guys, for the most part, looked exceedingly sane. I saw less shirtless bathroom selfies and frat-boy-style snapshots. While not all guys were necessarily my type, I could see them being attractive to some awesome woman somewhere.

3. "I actually matched with someone except, oh wait, ~I~ have to make the first move."

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First off, I matched with a total of six people, which is still more than I collectively matched on Tinder or Hinge through all my downloads and re-downloads and re-re-downloads.

But then came the hard part: making the first move.

In real life, when surrounded by encouraging friends and provided with a solid amount of alcohol, I have no issue approaching a guy or asking for his number. I actually prefer the shyer guys who are just at a party to hang with friends and not try to pick up girls (in which case, I pounce.)

On an app, sober, on a Sunday afternoon, in my sweatpants is a whole other story.

4. "Making the first move in a genuine way is actually kind of tricky."

Miramax Films / Via cali-fvcking-fornia.tumblr.com

As a straight woman who has been force-fed a number of pretty heinous pickup lines throughout life and especially through Tinder, opening with a sexually charged, copy-and-pasted joke was not an option for me (and nor would I ever want it to be.)

So I went back to each profile and tried to pick out something that we had in common or that I was genuinely interested in knowing more about. One guy had a screenshot of him on The Tonight Show Starring Jimmy Fallon, so I asked him about it. Another guy mentioned wanting someone to go to concerts with, so I asked him what the best concert he ever went to was (and the band he named ended up being one I've seen live myself.)

It took a little bit of effort, but it felt more organic than just swiping right on endless people and then losing track. Some guys ended up expiring for me because I couldn't think of anything to ask them, and that's OK.

5. "Everyone I tried to talk to responded right away, and almost none of them creeped me out."

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Every guy responded promptly and had a conversation with me that never delved into anything gross or creepy (the most obscene thing that happened was one guy wrote a ;) in his first response to me.)

Granted, I only talked to four people and creeps can be anywhere, but I genuinely had a nice time talking to all and didn't at any point feel objectified or scared or supremely disappointed in humanity.

In conclusion: For as long as I am single, I might stop re-re-re-downloading Tinder and keep Bumble as my dating app of choice.

Warner Bros. Pictures / Via theone8888.tumblr.com