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The Definitive Ranking Of Ways To Flirt With Your Crush

LOL, LinkedIn requests.

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17. Voicemails / Via ABC

Aside from checking your voicemail being an arduous process that no human should ever undergo, it somehow always makes your voice sound 1000x sadder and creepier, like the villain in a Liam Neeson movie. There is almost no way to pull this off and look cute.

16. Facebook Pokes

Comedy Central / Via

"Poking" hasn't been a thing since 2008, and even back then it was pretty weird. Why is it called "poking," anyway? Why not "winking" or "I'd like to take you out"-ing? Has anyone ever been poked and felt romantic afterward?

15. Facebook Messages

FOX / Via

Everyone Facebook messages each other, and the read receipts make everyone kind of dread these, so all of us have a pile of unread Facebook messages we're avoiding like the plague. Don't be part of the plague. (Also, the Facebook and Facebook Messenger apps are now SEPARATE on iPhones, which is all sorts of messed up and unsexy.)


12. Facebook Comments


Writing on Facebook in general is always a little awkward because like, no one else really cares and it's kind of uncomfortable for everyone to see you flirting out in the wild. It's the equivalent of sharing the same side of a diner booth — you can, but do you NEED to?

10. Twitter Direct Messages

What's good is that the person had to have followed you back for this interaction to happen, so the creep factor is hypothetically gone, unless, of course, you say something creepy. It's a lot of power, too much for some, but if used correctly, it can be kind of cool.


6. Facebook Likes

They're simple, they're easy, and you can do a lot of these without worrying that you're coming on too strong. They're the best way to say, "I want my body on your body" while also saying, "I've got my own life and will subtly wink at you by liking everything you do."


1. Instagram Likes


Is there anything more satisfying in this world than putting up a stone cold sexy selfie and having your crush respond with a resounding "HELL YAAAAAS" with the mere double tap of an iPhone screen? No, there isn't.