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7 Dating Things We Can All Stop Worrying About

We all have these thoughts.

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1. Who should text first.

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The fact that people establish "three-day" rules for something that is already as unnatural and weird as texting is pretty ridiculous. It's even more absurd when said rules involve gender (as in the guy is supposed to text first or pursue the girl, lest the girl look too desperate). We should all text when we feel like it. If there's no response or interest, great then, everybody can move on. Your future significant other shouldn't be judging you for taking the first step; they should be relieved.

2. Coming off as too clingy.

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No one wants to be that person who pours their heart out and then gets radio silence. But if you forwardly show interest and the response from the other person is any variation of "ew," then your selection process has just been made that much easier. Either they're just not into you, or they have a weird ego thing where they only like people who don't like them — and none of those will be fun for you.

3. If you said something dumb/silly/weird.

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If you always have to worry about whether they get your humor or find you smart, move on. What enjoyment is there to be had from someone who makes you feel like a second-rate comic at a deserted stand-up club? The best relationships in the world (whether romantic or platonic) come from being able to laugh at the same bizarre things and thrive from the comfort of having someone you can be honest with.

4. How you compare to their ex.

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Think about your own exes. Chances are, they vary in what they did, how they looked, how you felt around them. Yeah, you can compare aspects of each one, but it's not like you can denote numerical value to people — all you can do is slowly learn which qualities you like and dislike. And whomever you're into currently is doing the same. Playing the comparison game is never a good idea, especially with exes.

5. When the "right" time is to have sex.

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Yeah, your mom might disapprove. And some people will tell you to withhold sex in order to build interest, but there are plenty of couples in the world who started dating after a drunken hookup. There's no formula, nor should you view having sex as some kind of value system. Bone when you want to bone. Unless you're a) in an airplane bathroom or b) don't have a condom.

6. Whether you're going "too fast" or "too slow."


Thinking about pacing and the "right" rate of getting to know each other will get exhausting so quickly, especially since everyone you know will give you completely different and maddeningly conflicting advice. The thing most successful couples have in common is that their interactions felt natural — that they were able to jump in and feel comfortable without worrying about arbitrary rules.

7. When it's OK to ask about exclusivity.

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Every person freaks out over this. But if you're dying to know about what this is and where it's going and if they're seeing anyone, just have the talk. They'll either avoid eye contact and get nervous (so, no), tell you earnestly that they don't know yet (worth possibly waiting for) or be thrilled that you asked first and take you out for celebratory "we're a couple now, haters!" sundaes (aka you'll probably marry them).

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