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How Secretly Gross Are You?

(It's OK, no one will ever know which ones you clicked.)

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  1. BuzzFeed / Julia Pugachevsky
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    You derive a special enjoyment from popping pimples.
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    You’ve had a deep-seated urge to pop someone else’s pimples.
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    And you followed your dreams and actually DID pop someone else’s pimples.
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    You’re always a little proud of those extra-crunchy eye crusts you accumulate in the morning.
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    And you genuinely admire the puddle of drool on your pillow.
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    You feel an inexplicable comfort from squeezing the blackheads on your nose.
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    Or, if you’re a little fancier, you simply MUST look at the dirt on the little hairs on your blackhead nose/chin strips.
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    You feel a strong sense of personal accomplishment when producing a really long poop.
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    (Or just a lot of poop in general, like to fill the whole toilet.)
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    Your meaning of the word “excavate” directly relates to examining the big chunks of food hanging on your floss.
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    You feel a wave of inspiration when your morning breath is so stinky that you can smell it from one soft exhale.
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    And you’re endlessly fascinated by farts you can still smell after a good few seconds.
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    You feel great satisfaction from digging up a sizable hunk of earwax.
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    And if your Q-tip leaves you wanting more, you just keep digging until you strike gold.
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    It’s an early Christmas for you when you scrape out some quality dirt from under your nails.
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    And you like to welcome the winter holidays by scratching your head and forming a tiny dandruff blizzard.
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    You feel mighty clever for noticing and pulling out the hairs that get stuck in your butt after a shower.
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    And you experience a wave of inner strength when you blow out a lot of mucus.
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    You like to marvel at how a particularly large booger managed to stay intact after you pick it out.
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    Then, you carefully place said booger under a table and feel like a champion.
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    OR YOU EAT IT, if you’re actually a champion.
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    You feel fierce for biting off a teeny chunk of your lip and then swallowing it.
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    And you feel a life-changing sense of joy when you burp in your mouth and can taste what you previously ate.
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    You sometimes wipe greasy potato chip hands all over your laptop and are amazed at the amount of oily substance you just consumed.
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    And you consider yourself a perfect scavenger when finding and eating leftover crumbs in your sweater.
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    You experience a complex mix of horrified and impressed when plucking out an ingrown hair that got freakishly long in its fleshy cavern.
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    You’re always a little pleasantly surprised when you smell your pits and realize your smelliness-potential.
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    You like to hock loogies and feel like a true city slicker.
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    Or, you’ll try to hock a loogie, accidentally spit all over your chin, and suck it all back up anyway.
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    You slyly avoid washing your hands when no one else is around (because you’re in a rush).
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    Or you do it for the sheer thrill of getting away with it.
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    You like to challenge how long you can go without changing your sheets.
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    And you feel like the king/queen of the world when you smell an unwashed outfit and deem it suitable enough for a re-wear.
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    You smile on the inside when your puke is a pretty color.
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    But you also embrace the chunkier variety because you believe all puke should be loved.
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    You feel overcome with an alluring sense of mystery when you lift up the toilet seat and see the grime underneath.
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    And you are consistently intrigued by hardened toothpaste in your sink that even the strongest streams of water can't wash out.
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    You feel truly alive when you pee the moment you get into the shower.
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    And you feel like a true artist when sticking loose hairs on the shower wall instead of throwing them out.
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    This list didn't make you nauseous!

 
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