23. Dumbo the Flying Elephant®
Thrill factor: 1
Age appropriateness: -1
Nostalgia: 3
Total: 3
If we're choosing to ignore that you're definitely too old to be riding on Dumbo, we're still left with the fact that all this ride does is gently bounce you while spinning in a very tame circle. And is Dumbo even anyone's favorite Disney movie?
22. Jungle Cruise®
Thrill factor: 2
Age appropriateness: 2
Nostalgia: 2
Total: 6
You ride in a boat and look at (robot) animals in their natural habitats. It's alright, if you're super into nature or whatever (in which case, just go to Animal Kingdom, dude.)
21. Astro Orbiter
Thrill factor: 3
Age appropriateness: 2
Nostalgia: 1
Total: 6
You fly in circles in a rocket. Aside from a good view of the park, you won't get much out of this.
20. The Barnstormer
Thrill factor: 3
Age appropriateness:1
Nostalgia: 4
Total: 8
It's the tamest roller coaster ever, but it gets points for being charmingly goofy.
19. Star Tours® - The Adventures Continue
Thrill factor: 1
Age appropriateness: 3
Nostalgia: 4
Total: 8
Star Wars is amazing (especially when it's at Disney World and you can buy a Mickey in a Jedi costume at the gift shop) but this ride is NAUSEATING. Sure, having C-3PO guide you through the galaxy sounds like a good idea, but swirling through dizzying cosmic vortexes with 3D glasses and jiggling seats does not a fun time make.
18. Mission: SPACE®
Thrill factor: 2
Age appropriateness: 6
Nostalgia: 2
Total: 10
It's not really Disney-ish, but you get to pretend to coast through space AND you sit through a little intro where the perfect human (aka GARY SINISE) talks to you about the universe. WIN.
17. Walt Disney World Railroad
Thrill factor: 1
Age appropriateness: 2
Nostalgia: 8
Total: 11
It's a cute lil' choo choo train that takes you around the park for 20 minutes. It's not thrilling and you're probably too old to ride it, but that rush of nostalgia is its own thrill ride, in a way.
16. "it's a small world"®
Thrill factor: 2
Age appropriateness: 1
Nostalgia: 9
Total: 11
The song is annoyingly catchy and hearing it sung by tiny puppets isn't exactly the definition of fun. But it gets major points for being one of the most prominent (and culturally inclusive!) moments of your childhood.
15. Pirates of the Caribbean®
Thrill factor: 3
Age appropriateness: 5
Nostalgia: 2
Total: 11
It's equal parts creepy and dazzling, and a replica of a younger Johnny Depp is involved, so it gets more thrill factor points for making your heart beat a little faster!
14. The Magic Carpets of Aladdin
Thrill factor: 3
Age appropriateness: 2
Nostalgia: 7
Total: 12
Just like Dumbo, except it's Aladdin-themed and Aladdin is one of the best Disney movies. Duh.
13. Test Track® Presented by Chevrolet®
Thrill factor: 4
Age appropriateness: 6
Nostalgia: 2
Total: 12
It's not very nostalgic or out of the ordinary since you drive cars all the time/drove a car to get to Disney World, but you do get to create your own "virtual concept vehicle" and ride around in it, so.
12. Haunted Mansion®
Thrill factor: 4
Age appropriateness: 5
Nostalgia: 3
Total: 12
It's all the fun of a haunted house without it getting too scary because kids.
11. Buzz Lightyear's Space Ranger Spin®
Thrill factor: 4
Age appropriateness: 1
Nostalgia: 9
Total: 14
You get to shoot glow-in-the-dark aliens while pretending to be one of BuzzLightyear's Space Rangers. 5-year-old you is very grateful for the experience.
10. Soarin'®
Thrill factor: 5
Age appropriateness: 7
Nostalgia: 3
Total: 14
One of the few rides at Epcot, "Soarin'" lets you virtually hang glide over California. Kind of random, but also really pretty!
9. Maelstrom
Thrill factor: 5
Age appropriateness: 7
Nostalgia: 2
Total: 14
It's not particularly nostalgic (unless you were really into Norway as a kid?) but this viking-themed tour at Epcot is "educational" enough to not make you feel awkwardly old AND there's a surprise drop at the end which is a fun little treat.
8. Peter Pan's Flight®
Thrill factor: 5
Age appropriateness: 2
Nostalgia: 8
Total: 15
Peter Pan is a solid Disney movie, and flying over London and Neverland (the two best places ever, by the way) is magical even at a slow pace.
7. Mad Tea Party
Thrill factor: 4
Age appropriateness: 4
Nostalgia: 7
Total: 15
Tea cup rides are aesthetically adorable and Alice in Wonderland is one of those Disney films that is cool to love at no matter what age (not that you should care if you're an adult and in Disney World, but still.)
6. Under the Sea ~ Journey of The Little Mermaid
Thrill factor: 3
Age appropriateness: 2
Nostalgia:11
Total: 16
This is a new ride and yeah, it's a slow-moving clam shell ride intended for small children and their parents but IT. IS. AMAZING. It will make you feel things. Especially when you go through the "Under the Sea" section and get to dance with all the fish that made your childhood a better time.
5. Rock 'n' Roller Coaster® Starring Aerosmith
Thrill factor: 9
Age appropriateness: 7
Nostalgia: 3
Total: 19
Not really sure why it's Aerosmith-themed, but it's a fun in-the-dark coaster that takes you through funky glow-in-the-dark palm trees while Steven Tyler's excited screech echoes in your ear. Weird, but it works!
4. Space Mountain®
Thrill factor: 8
Age appropriateness: 8
Nostalgia: 4
Total: 20
Everything about this ride is charmingly retro, and you have nothing to hold onto in your seat so your arms can only go in the air. Which makes it the right level of terrifying :)
3. The Twilight Zone Tower of Terror™
Thrill factor: 10
Age appropriateness: 9
Nostalgia: 4
Total: 24
The prologue to this ride is suuuuper creepy and right before you're thrust upwards and downwards at freakishly high speeds, all the lights go out and you anticipate your doom in complete darkness. It's a classic that can't be beat.
2. Splash Mountain®
Thrill factor: 9
Age appropriateness: 4
Nostalgia: 10
Total: 25
If you're not in the mood to get wet, this ride maybe isn't the best BUT you get like 4 good drops (and one amazing one at the end) AND you get to go through a delightful little tunnel with singing puppets. Basically, you experience a full spectrum of emotion, which is the best possible outcome when it comes to a Disney World ride.
1. Big Thunder Mountain Railroad®
Thrill factor: 9
Age appropriateness: 9
Nostalgia: 8
Total: 26
It's smooth, it's fast, it takes you through tight curves curled around some very lovely fake canyon rocks AND -- best part -- you get a lovely view of the castle from the beginning slope. Perfect.