1. “I Don’t Believe We’ve Met.”
2. “Keep It Boring, String.”
3. “More Bodies On Him Than A Chinese Cemetery.”
4. “It’s Like Them Birds Of Yours.”
5. “This is Sydney Handjerker With Handjerker, Cohen & Bromburg.”
6. “For a cold-assed crew of gangsters, y’all carried it like Republicans”
7. “Just at this moment, I manage to crawl out my own damn grave.”
8. BONUS: A Great Scene From ‘The Corner’
- Top legal scholars will be filing the 1st major lawsuit against President Trump's alleged business conflicts on Monday.
- "Welcome to the movement": Women's March on Washington organizers are working tirelessly to make sure 1st-time marchers stick around ✊
- Kellyanne Conway says White House press sec. Sean Spicer didn't lie about crowd size at Trump's inauguration. He gave "alternative facts."
- The Patriots are heading to the Super Bowl yet again after crushing the Steelers. They'll play the Falcons on Feb. 5 🏈