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Weddings

The Word "Fiancé" Is The Worst And Must Be Stopped

S/O to the relationship status that means both nothing and everything at the same time.

Posted on

So, you're engaged! Congratulations!

Fox

Everything is amazing! Love is real!

But wait, there's one small thing that is straight up awkward...

Netflix

...that weird word: fiancé. (Or is it fiancée?)

NBC

Rolls off the tongue like a mouthful of sand.

1. Let's face it: every time you hear or say the word fiancé, it comes out like this...

View this video on YouTube

youtube.com

2. It's like sticking your pinky out instead of drinking from a mug like a normal human.

Castle-Rock Entertainment

3. It’s a word that immediately hijacks your identity.

UGC / Via gifmovie.tumblr.com

Suddenly, who you are is defined by your relationship to this other person.

4. And as soon as you say it, people immediately start asking about the wedding...

Universal / Via gimmethatdyick.tumblr.com

...especially if you're a woman.

5. Or they are unable to notice anything about you other than your ring.

Columbia / Via movingbey.tumblr.com

6. It can be alienating to single friends.

Universal / Via gracefuldreamer.tumblr.com

7. Because there's something about it that feels like you're pointing out a superior social status.

i.imgur.com

What you say: "This is [name], my fiancé."

What it sounds like: "Nya-na-na-na-na-na."

8. And when else in your life do you randomly use a word in French?

Besides the occasional croissant or ménage à trois.

9. At this point, "fiancé" is the linguistic equivalent of an anachronism.

(Or the linguistic equivalent of a Segway chariot, even.)
imgur.com

(Or the linguistic equivalent of a Segway chariot, even.)

10. If you're actually going to use it, at least there's a better way to spell it:

instagram.com
Ilya S. Savenok / Getty / Monique Bartley
  1. What do YOU think about the F word?

    Correct
    Incorrect
    You're right, I think it's awkward and weird.
    Correct
    Incorrect
    Actually, I think it's kind of sweet and romantic.
    Correct
    Incorrect
    MARRIAGE IS A SHAM. WAKE UP, SHEEPLE.
Oops. Something went wrong. Please try again later
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What do YOU think about the F word?
  1.  
    vote votes
    You're right, I think it's awkward and weird.
  2.  
    vote votes
    Actually, I think it's kind of sweet and romantic.
  3.  
    vote votes
    MARRIAGE IS A SHAM. WAKE UP, SHEEPLE.
  1. What would you rather call your [F word]?

    Correct
    Incorrect
    Pre-husband/pre-wife
    Correct
    Incorrect
    Boner Buddy/Vag Hag
    Correct
    Incorrect
    My Betrothed
    Correct
    Incorrect
    My Betroth-ED (emphasis on the -ed)
    Correct
    Incorrect
    My person
    Correct
    Incorrect
    Financier
    Correct
    Incorrect
    FianSLAY
    Correct
    Incorrect
    Bidie-in (the Scottish term for romantic co-habitators)
    Correct
    Incorrect
    My Precious
    Correct
    Incorrect
    Fuck-Buddy For Life
    Correct
    Incorrect
    Executive Vice Chancellor of Romantic Relations
    Correct
    Incorrect
    Beyoncé
    Correct
    Incorrect
    Human who enjoys the company of another specific human (or humans!)
    Correct
    Incorrect
    My partner
    Correct
    Incorrect
    My eternal body pillow
Oops. Something went wrong. Please try again later
Looks like we are having a problem on the server.
What would you rather call your [F word]?
  1.  
    vote votes
    Pre-husband/pre-wife
  2.  
    vote votes
    Boner Buddy/Vag Hag
  3.  
    vote votes
    My Betrothed
  4.  
    vote votes
    My Betroth-ED (emphasis on the -ed)
  5.  
    vote votes
    My person
  6.  
    vote votes
    Financier
  7.  
    vote votes
    FianSLAY
  8.  
    vote votes
    Bidie-in (the Scottish term for romantic co-habitators)
  9.  
    vote votes
    My Precious
  10.  
    vote votes
    Fuck-Buddy For Life
  11.  
    vote votes
    Executive Vice Chancellor of Romantic Relations
  12.  
    vote votes
    Beyoncé
  13.  
    vote votes
    Human who enjoys the company of another specific human (or humans!)
  14.  
    vote votes
    My partner
  15.  
    vote votes
    My eternal body pillow
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