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The Word "Fiancé" Is The Worst And Must Be Stopped

S/O to the relationship status that means both nothing and everything at the same time.

by ,

So, you're engaged! Congratulations!

Fox

Everything is amazing! Love is real!

But wait, there's one small thing that is straight up awkward...

Netflix

...that weird word: fiancé. (Or is it fiancée?)

NBC

Rolls off the tongue like a mouthful of sand.

1. Let's face it: every time you hear or say the word fiancé, it comes out like this...

View this video on YouTube

youtube.com

2. It's like sticking your pinky out instead of drinking from a mug like a normal human.

Castle-Rock Entertainment

3. It’s a word that immediately hijacks your identity.

UGC / Via gifmovie.tumblr.com

Suddenly, who you are is defined by your relationship to this other person.

4. And as soon as you say it, people immediately start asking about the wedding...

Universal / Via gimmethatdyick.tumblr.com

...especially if you're a woman.

5. Or they are unable to notice anything about you other than your ring.

Columbia / Via movingbey.tumblr.com

6. It can be alienating to single friends.

Universal / Via gracefuldreamer.tumblr.com

7. Because there's something about it that feels like you're pointing out a superior social status.

i.imgur.com

What you say: "This is [name], my fiancé."

What it sounds like: "Nya-na-na-na-na-na."

8. And when else in your life do you randomly use a word in French?

NBC

Besides the occasional croissant or ménage à trois.

9. At this point, "fiancé" is the linguistic equivalent of an anachronism.

imgur.com

(Or the linguistic equivalent of a Segway chariot, even.)

10. If you're actually going to use it, at least there's a better way to spell it:

Ilya S. Savenok / Getty / Monique Bartley
  1. What do YOU think about the F word?

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What do YOU think about the F word?
  1.  
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    You're right, I think it's awkward and weird.
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    Actually, I think it's kind of sweet and romantic.
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    MARRIAGE IS A SHAM. WAKE UP, SHEEPLE.
  1. What would you rather call your [F word]?

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What would you rather call your [F word]?
  1.  
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    Pre-husband/pre-wife
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    Boner Buddy/Vag Hag
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    My Betrothed
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    My Betroth-ED (emphasis on the -ed)
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    My person
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    Financier
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    FianSLAY
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    Bidie-in (the Scottish term for romantic co-habitators)
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    My Precious
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    Fuck-Buddy For Life
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    Executive Vice Chancellor of Romantic Relations
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    Beyoncé
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    Human who enjoys the company of another specific human (or humans!)
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    My partner
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    My eternal body pillow