1. This version is more like being drunk and in love with your ex.
2. Or a very exhausted person at the end of a night of karaoke.
3. There's something about it that's kinda like jumping in slow motion on a frozen trampoline.
4. Or this carnival ride gone horribly wrong.
5. The opening sounds like an accordion being played by a demon child.
6. And when you're about halfway through, it's like you're trying to wake up in the middle of the night from a drug-induced haze.
7. It's also akin to this driving experience:
8. And towards the end, the carnival ride has gone to a bad place.
9. And then, there's this moment where it sounds like what you do when you're too drunk to talk.
10. And it's slow and clumsy like you when you agree to go to a third bar on a Tuesday night.
11. But there's this part of it that's somehow profound.
12. No wait, it's terrible. Not profound.
13. Or is it...? Yeah, kinda like being on so many drugs that you can't quite move.
14. Yes, it's like that moment in a horror movie where the character approaches something scary.
15. It's kind of like Lil Wayne's imagination on sizzurp.
16. Or a little dangerous, like playing laser tag but with one person who has a real gun.
17. But there's something intensely gratifying about it, too.
There's a slow, sweet kind of weird thing going on.
18. You know, it's kind of like angry underwater Beyoncé.
19. But really, the ultimate thing this reminds you of is that you better go listen to "Drunk in Love" because it is still the best jam.
Julia Furlan is an audio editor for BuzzFeed News and is based in New York.
Contact Julia Furlan at email@example.com.
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