What Every Commercial During The 2012 Olympics Was Basically Like
I'm just getting over our withdrawals from the games themselves and now I've reached a second-level of deprivation: I need my anthemic, motivational, tear-inducing commercials. Because if a historical, athletic achievement isn’t enough to break you down, a magnificent paper towel commercial sure is.
"More vague narrating. Because this isn't just about athletes. It’s about a corporation."
"Have you noticed our rhetorical questions?"
"Have you noticed our moms?"
"Have you noticed our repetition?"
"Concluding with a long-winded, dragging on more than before, continuation of saying stuff that sounds impressive, dear God it’s a summation of everything… okay—finally—our tagline inexplicably featuring a made-up word."